Worrywart, let’s try happiness on Tuesdays

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

Swedish Proverb

We should aim for every day, but we’ll start slow.

Why do many people worry so much? Surprisingly, with such an advanced society we live in today, more people seem to struggle with inner thoughts of negative thinking and battling with anxiety day by day.

We don’t have to struggle with the many hardships of our previous generations. Dying in warfare (men) or in childbirth (women) has drastically declined. Living past the age of 50 is more than reachable. Going to bed in pure hunger is almost unheard of. Water systems, transportation, medical discoveries, and technology have helped advance humanity. It also contributed to reducing human suffering, time wasted and overall brought more convenience to man’s living standards. Thank a capitalist 🙂

Are we just a bunch of complainers? Or is there a real justifiable reason to worry? Sure there is the daily stress of “how am I going to pay rent this month?” Or “One more write up at work, and I’m out in the streets!”

But these common inconveniences in life can be found in almost all persons. My goal is to show you how some refuse to let these worries take over their lives while offering you ways to eliminate unnecessary negative thinking.


There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.

Harold Stephen

Ever met a person who complained so much that it ruined a possible great time? A dark cloud just hovering over you. It’s as if they aren’t satisfied unless everyone is in a bad mood. The kicker here? Most of them play victim after being the prime mover behind the scenes.

I heard of a man named “Joe” who used to come into work very angry in the morning. He complained and moaned about everything: his disastrous wake from sleep. A stale breakfast. A horrible commute to work. His workaholic wife. But when Joe drank his morning Joe (lol), he became a much kinder man.

It’s too late. The damage is done, and the atmosphere is set. His misery worked like a poisonous agent into the air and destroyed his coworkers’ mood. Joe turns around and boldly wonders “what is wrong with these people?”

Don’t be a Joe. It is evil and selfish.

Or how about the “realistic” (negative) thinker? This person always has a complaint but no insurance. In other words, they offer no help in case their bright (negative) idea happens. Yes, we understand an outdoor wedding might be subject to get rained on. Or it might be hot that day with bugs. However, we already have a ‘Plan B’ venue in case it does. Thank you for your “concern” Aunt Sally. (Aunt Sally never did offer a solution or even help with the wedding planning. She is only being realistic, or should I say, bringing in stress.)

The people who generally overstress about issues that they cannot change, and the problems that they CAN change- they still worry about, are difficult to come to terms with. It seems at this point they enjoy the stress.

If you admittedly do enjoy the stress because it offers some type of “adventure” for you, then carry on. For those who acknowledge this as a hurdle (negative thinking) to enjoying life, and seek to make changes to shift in the right direction, here are some tools you should bring with you:


  • Negative thinking is common, in fact it is normal

You’ll be surprised how much we all have in common. But what separates us is how we respond to life crises. What I observed is, those who stress more about a problem (or worst- a potential problem) always seem to attract negative things to them. The more “unlucky” they see themselves, the more unfortunate events will come.

The universe is designed to “drag us down.” Anything that is built, maintain and lasting requires energy. This means one must be “unnatural”- go against the world, to be happy! Life can be depressing. But did you know there is a command from the Lord to be happy? Yes, there is. And if there is a command to do so, it just further explains that the order didn’t come naturally to us humans. We had to be instructed.

And you and the Levites and the aliens amoung you shall rejoice in all the good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household.

Deuteronomy 26:11

When you’re being pulled by negative forces, (a person or simply your thoughts), it is to your natural default. The point of this is to build character when you’re striving for good. Nothing in this world is free.

  • What to avoid when seeking peace

Because you did not serve the Lord your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the Lord sends against you.

Deuteronomy 28:47-48

Does watching a comedy or any other form of entertainment seem to work? Perhaps temporarily but it isn’t the antidote for the worrisome. How about an online vent? You know, letting the world know that you’re in distress? Nope. Most don’t care about your problems and the few who do are glad you have them. Surely, therapy or a mind doctor will do the trick?

Yes. A 24-year-old college graduate with no life experience, parties on the weekend while finding herself and then goes home to a cat will get you through any of your life problems. How about the good ol’ bottle to relieve your worries? Alcohol is another temporary fix yet feels needed at the moment to relax those inner thoughts. It’s no wonder in Latin, alcohol is commonly known as Spirits— because it is your spirit that seems to be thirsty.

Well, I have the quenching tools for you.

I don’t subscribe to any of this. And if you want to become more at peace with yourself, I will offer you unheard, unpopular yet workable outlets that I personally follow.

To recap, avoid:

Amusement, entertainment, therapy, buyers’ remorse, gossip, people with different lifestyles/goals, medications, alcohol and of course- drugs and promiscuous sex. These common “solutions” won’t fix your anxiety, instead, it might even be counterproductive.

Most likely you tried all these “expert outlets.” I’m shocked, absolutely bewildered these mainstream methods to peace didn’t help!

Ready to try something new?

  • What to do to free your mind

It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Life will never disappoint us: there are challenges for everyone. If you’re willing to put an end, or at the very least, curb on this ‘end of the world’ thinking (which leads to behavior) for you can enjoy life’s blessings, try these simple tasks I do religiously. Build a structure. Make it into a routine.

Prayer- a private conversation with the creator of the universe. No evil thoughts. No judgment. Just a God who loves you and is there for you.

Make your bed- this will bring a sense of accomplishment to start the day, and to come home to a clean bed.. who can complain about that?

Eating a healthy balanced diet- you are what you eat! This can be fun as you start to create and commit to a new eating routine. Rid the junk and replace it with fresh foods. You will be amazed by how this affects your thinking… positively of course.

Wash your face twice a day and keep yourself well-groomed- again, another step towards a better you with better thoughts ahead. Hello handsome!

Exercise- this is super important. Not only for your physical health but for your mental. Find a gym and commit at least 3 days a week in there. Don’t make outrageous commitments. Start small. Your thoughts will turn from darkness to hopeful after every great workout.

Read and write- daily. This is your private vent. Your creativity. Your time to listen (when you read, you’re listening) and try to write down 3 goals for your day. When you accomplish it, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Another activity to look forward to: write down 5 tally marks in your daily entry. Each to represent something kind you did or said to someone that day.

Work- to avoid feeling useless and hopeless, what better outlet is there to get a job? Someone to pay you for your service. Unhappy or underpaid currently? Get a new job baby! This is the free market. No chains to bind you. You are free to move. Apply. Apply. Reply. (Denied.) Apply. Reply. Accept!

Speak when you need to- a time to speak, a time to zip it! When you do speak, it is almost like a published work. You cannot take it back fully if you misspoke. So be careful and mindful. Try to also speak with an “inside voice” when communicating. Expand your vocabulary. (You have been reading, haven’t you?) You expand on this, your thoughts will run wild.

People- surround yourself with loving people. People with similar goals and lifestyles. Family is also very important. Even if you have just one person. Love that person, service, use kinder words and watch your life become happier.

What are you waiting for? Peaceful thoughts await!

4 reasons why I’m a conservative

For man, the universe is already defaulted to pull back. Destruction is an easy and natural thing. Creation requires energy, intelligence, and even bravery. However, if one looks further, the universe actually operates beautifully in order.

Where I come from, you weren’t supposed to be a conservative. Everyone around me supported the welfare state- even those in the workforce. It didn’t matter if one was in corporate, a college graduate to a high school drop out, religious or secular- they all agreed on one thing: how to vote. By using your heart (although many were heartless) and vote for the Democrat Party.

As a child, the elderly would call me: disrespectful. Outspoken. Rebellious. But to this day, I never disrespect the elderly. So why was I called these things? Simply because I think.


Once when I was young, I went with my mother to go vote. I asked, “Which one are we? Democrat or Republican?”

She answered, “We are Democrats.”

“Okay. Why?” I asked.

“Because we aren’t rich.”

Discontent with that answer, I replied: “Well, then. I want to be rich, so I’ll be a Republican.”

Immediately she stopped walking and we looked at each other. The look on her face resembled of a CNN anchor. This must be the ‘disrespectful speech’ everone says I give.

Many of these examples I have. In my youth, I tended to crash with most people due to the difference in worldviews. I believe man is born evil but can strive to become great- if he chooses. (Not a common view.) Many believe he is born good with society corrupting him and could never become the noble savage again. (Sad!)

As a young child, I always knew what I wanted in life. I always had a sense of what is good and what is evil. Most things taught to me (at home, school, and church) always seem to contradict. Is life this confusing? Furthermore, I noticed those who claim to be intellectuals were saying the same exact thing as an illiterate street bum. The self-proclaimed intellects differ with wording it more eloquently and offering a reason for their behavior.

Once understood that I actually grew up under these socialist policies and people- I needed to hear the other side.

The obstacle one takes when wanting just to hear the other side is a big step. But what required next is bravery: to leave the socialist state, its false promises and subjects for something which offered no security, uncertainty, unpredictable but full freedom.


There were two types of women from where I come from: the job-driven woman and the welfare woman. Both in common they had were miserable lives. There has to be a third option.

Yes! The woman I read about in books and witness from afar. The one the Bible speaks about. The woman who becomes a wife and stays home with her children. She has a husband, home, privacy and labor seemed to be 1000% less. More beautiful, free and safe. It’s even romantic: just her and her husband.

All this I gathered on my own. It still amazes me that a young girl from Spanish Harlem can actually break the chains of statistics, overcome the sweet whispers of a false ‘independent woman’ status and the seduction of marriage to the state- without any support other than my faith in God, my husband, and my mind.

This is what motivated me personally. I wanted to be a wife and mother. I also wanted the ability to earn as much or little as I please. After I figured that out, everything else made sense- without the contradictions. I had to start a new life. I had to leave the socialism I was born into.

*Understand the term conservative. I do not wish to conserve the state but to conserve the idea of what made the American great and the Bill of Rights.


Here are the 4 reasons why I’m a conservative:

1. Profit is a good thing

When I heard cheers from my environment, celebrating being “broke” and “poor” I knew it didn’t sound right. Are you poor in nutrition? Low in protein? Then you might be poor. But it is the animal who is forever poor. Humans, particularity Americans, can change their situation. Never say you’re poor.

People should work- especially men. Being rewarded with cash for your services and/or goods is proof that someone needs you. It’s proof that you are not just helping yourself, but you’re helping others. You are seen. You are heard.

Work also provides communication skills, growth, patience, practice, time management, self-control, financial freedom and self-respect among many other things.

The alternative to earning money is a gun: theft and death. I’m strongly against the utopian lie of living a life in the paradise of no work. It sounds like hell. Even within the Garden of Eden did God put Adam to work! Man must have meaning in his life. He can find that through his work. The higher the quality and his performance, the higher his bank account.

This should be celebrated by allowing him the fruits of his labor. You simply cannot take what belongs to the man who has earned, transfer his wealth to the man who has not earned while expecting the same results of the honest earner. How could you subsidize irresponsibility by punishing the responsible? This is not only killing work ethics on both parts and society, but it is insulting to a person’s self-worth.

Allow and encourage greatness.

Which brings me to my next point.

2. Freedom of Speech

Freedom of expression. Religious freedoms. Freedom of thought. Freedom to own property- that includes weapons.

How can we grow as productive human beings when our minds aren’t allowed to think? Is it no wonder why the West won World War 2?

It wasn’t because Americans are brilliant and Germans are slow to pick up in science to create the A-bomb. It is because our economy is free and allows innovation to take place- without approval from a dictatorship. (Although FDR had many dictatorship traits and policies- still less than the enemy.) The speed to build up with the best quality only happened because America has the freedom to do so.

Hitler at one point didn’t even want to discuss the possibility of A-bomb because “it was a Jewish weapon.” This primitive socialist racism actually hurt him in the war. While in a free market system- there is no time for such rubbish. If you can produce, America needs you.

In order for this idea called ‘free market’ to be fully exercised to its potential, freedom of speech must be encouraged. Before an exchange of goods can happen, an exchange of ideas must occur.

In a socialist society, these ideas can interrupt those in power. It can even be twisted into ‘treason.’ Therefore, any progress in medicine, technology and business is slow to none.

3. Pro-family

Would the world be better off with more single people or married people? Orphans or children with married parents? “Finding yourself” for many decades or committing yourself to one person and building?

Family is something that puts requirements, restrains you from acting improperly and making terrible, hurtful decisions. All without government intervention.

The family prepares you for business if you think about it: your parents are the boss with authority, love, and respect. Your siblings are co-workers. Your grandparents sit on the Board of Directors or better yet, the Worker’s Union due to always siding with you. (But secerctly sides with your parents.) Cousins are customers when they come over. The family unit really resembles a business.

Children without a family, grow into broken adults. This is why the state needs to rid of the family in order to rescue the broken masses.

If people come from strong homes, with mother and father married- this can threaten the state’s power. The control of centralized power within the state rests on problems. If the citizens are making terrible choices (all stemming from their childhood) then the state needs to gain control. Since there is no such thing as an individual in a socialist state, (only a community), the community will all suffer the iron fist and submit to daddy government to reestablish order.

Remember: although the goal is a pretend utopia, there still must be an order of conduct to obtain it. The state is more than willing to step in. If the citizens give up their rights peacefully, even better. To help expedite this “compassion” children belong to the state.

Truth is be told: it takes parents, not a village, to raise a child.

4. I don’t like being told what to do

Similar to freedom of thought, I don’t like being told what to do or what to think. Socialism requires you to sacrifice everything for “the greater good.” Your wealth, heart, mind, and soul.

There is no greater good! Well, if you believe man is born good and just got evil along the way, then yes. You might want to help him achieve his original state. This is why socialism constantly needs to “renew” and “refresh.” It needs a revolution every 50-70 years. It needs obedience to create this “New Soviet Man.”

While I respect my God, parents, spouse, army and country- I will not be told to bow. There are many ways throughout history to bow down against your freewill. Some is through actual bowing. Others are in form of taxation and supporting ideas you oppose.

This goes against the Bill of Rights. The American.


Living as a puppet is no life. Living within unnecessary limits for the sake of “security” is not life. Life is brief. Life should be of worth and meaningful. Life is already hard, but much harder when you’re denied the right to actually live.

There are many reasons why I’m a conservative: religion, patriotism, responsibility, profit, family, and freedom. Overall, I need to work. My work is at home.

Understand the best rewards in life are the ones that are met with the most struggle to obtain it. Accomplishment is best only when greeted with a challenge.

Please, don’t hand anything to me. Don’t take away my ability to think and earn. I’m a conservative and want to experience life.

Green-eyed monster? Here are 4 truths on why you shouldn’t be!

Look at them.

They look so gorgeous. In love. And wealthy. As for you, you’re… well, you’re you. How could you not be slightly envious? Or more difficult, how can you be happy for someone else success when you secretly aren’t because it’s a reminder that you yourself is a failure?

You’re only a failure because you think and speak it. When a person is envious it just means they settled in life. They compromised. They didn’t keep on working (for whatever excuse one might have). In the end, they gave up and regret it.

No need to spend your life in this manner.

I’ve read many books of people restarting their life and successfully moving on to accomplishment. One story I will never forget is about a 52-year-old military history writer. He loved warfare: the strategies, uniforms, discipline, rules of engagement, and weapons. Such a brilliant and passionate man, but he had one problem:

No one actually listened to him because he never served in the military. On top of that, he found himself growing intensely envious of the glory the war leaders received from the troops. The power. The action. The respect. The love from his army. ARGH!

This writer did something incredible to put in an end to this negative emotion, at the age of 55 years old he enlisted into the army. He rose through the ranks rapidly. He became a celebrated hero in his country. Futhermore, he became ruler of his country. Action, not paper- with this he finally gains his life dream and respect which he earned.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

― Henry Ford

There is always a hunger for great talent and skills in the marketplace. Especially in a forgiving home as America or within a religion like Christianity. While there are truths that both the Bible and our personal experience can confirm, some life decisions we made a while ago have very long consequences. Some may range for a few weeks. Others can be a punishment that can last years or even cost us our own life. (This is why one must be both book and street smart.)

Nevertheless, we will work with what is unfairly dealt to us in life or what foolish decisions we brought to ourselves. We are here to live. To fulfill, even what might seem like a minor goal such as obtaining your driver’s license. It’s your life. The desire is still lurking because the envy, the longing is there. It’s not over unless you say it is.


Here are 4 truths on why there is no need to envy:

4. True fulfillment and joy in life doesn’t need an explanation

I see this mistake in so many people I speak with. You’ve probably heard (or have said) similar things such as:

“I’m glad I didn’t enlist in the army! Heck, I’m not fighting a bankers war! I’m no sucker! I’m completely happy they didn’t get me!” But if you further the conservation with this type, as I do, they will quickly expose their regret. I say, “But you’re a patriot bro! My goodness, the honor. The respect. The skills they teach. Travel and guns! Plus you get paid? That sounds like a sweet deal, not a scam.”

The look of guilt flushes their face, then the sad confession kicks in: “But I missed my opportunity…”

Another infamous one I hear is from childless people. “Kids? Ha! I’m extremely happy without brats! They’re expensive. They are an inconvenience! They’re annoying. I’m completely living it up.”

Then, like the dodger, I get this people as well.

“I can’t believe that. You would’ve made an excellent father! Oh man, not to mention how gorgeous your children would’ve been. Sad you’re keeping your seed to yourself, the world is missing out! Plus, they come in handy for retirement buddy! Well, I know you’re a great uncle, so I cannot accept your discontent in children. Come over for Thanksgiving to my house.”

The look on their face is priceless. Truth for this is, mostly this person hasn’t “found” a committed person to marry and trust. Or they are completely focused with their career (this is for women), missing out an opportunity to become a parent.

If an indvidual is truly content with their choices in life, there is no need to randomly explain yourself. Certainly no need to put down the other people who decided to enlist in the army or have a family.

From what I hear, it gets cold when you’re older. You need your memories (like the army stories or whatever you passed up) and grandchildren to warm you.

Reconfirming to others that you didn’t need these investments, doesn’t confirm it and you’re only speaking to yourself. In fact, this unneeded explanation has the opposite effect: it shows you want it and regretting you didn’t commit to it.

People like this aren’t as thrilled with their life as they say. No need to envy the explainer AKA the complainer.

3. Fake news is also attention seeking news: grass isn’t always greener on the other side

Long before social media envy of strangers, there was a more face to face envy. Hence the saying “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” (Showing human nature hasn’t changed.) It is still common to be envious over a family member you see often, a neighbor or a co-worker. THIS short article shows that money doesn’t buy happiness. It must come from within.

When people broadcast their happy life, understand two things first:

  • They are only showing the happiest moments in their life. Even if it seems to be everyday ‘happiness’, people are public performers. Read their shallow captions for further detail.
  • True happiness doesn’t have time to document it live. Therefore, they aren’t enjoying the moment. Do photographers have a blast at a wedding? They are too busy working. Selfie takers are also working and ignoring what could be a fun time. Their mind is on a perfect pic, edit, upload and sit back to see the likes.

Don’t get me wrong. I will snap a photo of the Grand Canyon while I’m on a visit. Will be hesitant to share my glory on social media. But for sure, I won’t make a documentary on my trip to the Grand Canyon unless I’m working for the History Channel. I want to enjoy the time, let the memory sit while respecting my company.

If you notice there is someone who is constantly seeking online attention with their ‘amazing’ life- then simply unfollow. What a great relief it brings. If this person doesn’t offer anything but an online diary that you cannot gain from, they serve no purpose.

Many people fool themselves into saying, “I’m inspiring the world! Come join my pointless journey of finding myself (which I never do) and be inspired!”

Inspiration comes from the struggling silent. No need to envy this empty goof.

[Bringing back my celebrity couple who appear to have it all: looks, money, and love. Traveling to Switzerland while I’m stuck at work, raising kids and letting the best years of my life fly by. Or am I? Don’t read too much into it. What I have noticed with these flashy people is something radical occurs in most of their lives: when they reach to their 40s, their looks are non-human. They are divorced. Broke. And having interviews about how unhappy they were in that marriage- conflicting their wonderful fun pictures of the past.

By the time I’m in my 40s, all my children are adults. In fact, one will graduate college and I will still be in my 30s! So prepare the Eastern European skies. When my time of child raising is over, I’ll be sexy in Switzerland drinking a cup of hot chocolate with my family!]

2. You can still achieve in life at anything you set your mind to

What a controversy statement to make nowadays!

It’s because it’s true. Lies seem to be accepted as “your truth” rather than the one and only truth.

While you don’t need to follow the clueless people who go through life with drama and no purpose- you can gain inspiration from the humble earner results. How can you find these types?

If you desire to have a family, go read about those who have long marriages and successful children. What’s their “secret?” Don’t follow a “family” like the Kardashians.

If you decide more wealth, follow the quiet self-made earner. Not only will you learn more about money, but you’ll learn about character. They are eager to teach those who want to learn and practice their ways.

Focus on yourself and get to work. After you found your humble mentor for encouragement and reminders: it can be done. They did it, so can you. They are not super-human. It is available to all. I don’t care about the ‘white privilege’ lie. Many whites struggle, suffer and die a failure. Just like anyone else who made bad choices. (Telling young white straight boys, in particular, is a psychological trick to actually create a sense of supreme from doing nothing which hinders their growth while telling other groups ‘you don’t have a chance.’ Bad all around.) The only advantage is being born rich and having married parents.

So, if you don’t have this real type of advantage, get busy. Lay out a plan and with deadlines. Get organized and find ways to achieve each point. It may seem far away- but that is why it’s called an investment. Short-time easy goals (like buying an expensive burger) excitement quickly comes to a halt when you realize you need bus fare. Don’t focus at how far the last chapter is yet. You already know there is 35, just start with the first. (They say it takes 7-10 years to master a skill. Get going!)

Pretty soon with your sacrifice, you will realize how fast time has gone by. Your goal will be achieved with your back against the wall fighting each step. It is earned slowly and less likely to die off quickly. Similar to earning your own money rather than being given money for no reason.

The great feeling of a smart sacrifice pays off at the end.

Life is about sacrifice.

Choose wisely.

Side note: A few years back, I created a vision poster board which I encourage you to do. On it I had cut and paste images from magazines onto this board. Images of things I wanted. Some were simple. Others were more difficult to obtain. And one needed a miracle. Here what was on the board:

A slow cooker. A ninja blender. A fancy washer and dryer- yes the ones that cost thousands of US dollars. A bodybuilder’s body. Travel around America on a road trip. A BMW. A house on the mountains like you see in a car commercial. A happy family with a husband and four children. Two girls and two boys.

The miracle (somewhat out of my control) is the family one. Would you believe I’m on track for that one? The Lord blesses me! At the time I was legally married with two daughters. My son came and I would like another son someday. The house in snowy North Dakota will be achieved if I want. All others have been fulfilled. I cried when I located this poster board recently.

  1. Your goals and aspirations are between you and God- through Him all things are possible 

As difficult as it may be, shut off the noise. Shut off the distractions. If it doesn’t aim towards your goal should you allow any of your energy to have it? Get rid of self-doubt. The negative scene, people or potatoe chips. Re-set your mindset.

Who will stop you if the Lord is with you? When David from the Bible kept on having incredible success on the battlefield, King Saul asked: “How?”

“The Lord is with me.” He answered.

The Lord will be with you too. If you allow Him. He hasn’t abandoned you. He desires greatness from you- and expects it. There is no need to stress or be envious with what you do not have. As long as you use honest methods. Start building, remain consistent, learn, grow and focused, you will get what your heart desires.

Advice: keep it to yourself. You’re only an inspiration after you achieve. Some might suggest to let the world know of your goals because you’re most likely to follow through. Well, how has that worked out for the online braggers? Instead, share with a few loved ones who are close to you. They will be watching. Even they are skeptical and still need to see results so you will have to follow through with that personal audience watching.

I depart with these two verses:

Psalm 37:4 4Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 20:4 4May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

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