Worrywart, let’s try happiness on Tuesdays

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

Swedish Proverb

We should aim for every day, but we’ll start slow.

Why do many people worry so much? Surprisingly, with such an advanced society we live in today, more people seem to struggle with inner thoughts of negative thinking and battling with anxiety day by day.

We don’t have to struggle with the many hardships of our previous generations. Dying in warfare (men) or in childbirth (women) has drastically declined. Living past the age of 50 is more than reachable. Going to bed in pure hunger is almost unheard of. Water systems, transportation, medical discoveries, and technology have helped advance humanity. It also contributed to reducing human suffering, time wasted and overall brought more convenience to man’s living standards. Thank a capitalist 🙂

Are we just a bunch of complainers? Or is there a real justifiable reason to worry? Sure there is the daily stress of “how am I going to pay rent this month?” Or “One more write up at work, and I’m out in the streets!”

But these common inconveniences in life can be found in almost all persons. My goal is to show you how some refuse to let these worries take over their lives while offering you ways to eliminate unnecessary negative thinking.


There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.

Harold Stephen

Ever met a person who complained so much that it ruined a possible great time? A dark cloud just hovering over you. It’s as if they aren’t satisfied unless everyone is in a bad mood. The kicker here? Most of them play victim after being the prime mover behind the scenes.

I heard of a man named “Joe” who used to come into work very angry in the morning. He complained and moaned about everything: his disastrous wake from sleep. A stale breakfast. A horrible commute to work. His workaholic wife. But when Joe drank his morning Joe (lol), he became a much kinder man.

It’s too late. The damage is done, and the atmosphere is set. His misery worked like a poisonous agent into the air and destroyed his coworkers’ mood. Joe turns around and boldly wonders “what is wrong with these people?”

Don’t be a Joe. It is evil and selfish.

Or how about the “realistic” (negative) thinker? This person always has a complaint but no insurance. In other words, they offer no help in case their bright (negative) idea happens. Yes, we understand an outdoor wedding might be subject to get rained on. Or it might be hot that day with bugs. However, we already have a ‘Plan B’ venue in case it does. Thank you for your “concern” Aunt Sally. (Aunt Sally never did offer a solution or even help with the wedding planning. She is only being realistic, or should I say, bringing in stress.)

The people who generally overstress about issues that they cannot change, and the problems that they CAN change- they still worry about, are difficult to come to terms with. It seems at this point they enjoy the stress.

If you admittedly do enjoy the stress because it offers some type of “adventure” for you, then carry on. For those who acknowledge this as a hurdle (negative thinking) to enjoying life, and seek to make changes to shift in the right direction, here are some tools you should bring with you:


  • Negative thinking is common, in fact it is normal

You’ll be surprised how much we all have in common. But what separates us is how we respond to life crises. What I observed is, those who stress more about a problem (or worst- a potential problem) always seem to attract negative things to them. The more “unlucky” they see themselves, the more unfortunate events will come.

The universe is designed to “drag us down.” Anything that is built, maintain and lasting requires energy. This means one must be “unnatural”- go against the world, to be happy! Life can be depressing. But did you know there is a command from the Lord to be happy? Yes, there is. And if there is a command to do so, it just further explains that the order didn’t come naturally to us humans. We had to be instructed.

And you and the Levites and the aliens amoung you shall rejoice in all the good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household.

Deuteronomy 26:11

When you’re being pulled by negative forces, (a person or simply your thoughts), it is to your natural default. The point of this is to build character when you’re striving for good. Nothing in this world is free.

  • What to avoid when seeking peace

Because you did not serve the Lord your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the Lord sends against you.

Deuteronomy 28:47-48

Does watching a comedy or any other form of entertainment seem to work? Perhaps temporarily but it isn’t the antidote for the worrisome. How about an online vent? You know, letting the world know that you’re in distress? Nope. Most don’t care about your problems and the few who do are glad you have them. Surely, therapy or a mind doctor will do the trick?

Yes. A 24-year-old college graduate with no life experience, parties on the weekend while finding herself and then goes home to a cat will get you through any of your life problems. How about the good ol’ bottle to relieve your worries? Alcohol is another temporary fix yet feels needed at the moment to relax those inner thoughts. It’s no wonder in Latin, alcohol is commonly known as Spirits— because it is your spirit that seems to be thirsty.

Well, I have the quenching tools for you.

I don’t subscribe to any of this. And if you want to become more at peace with yourself, I will offer you unheard, unpopular yet workable outlets that I personally follow.

To recap, avoid:

Amusement, entertainment, therapy, buyers’ remorse, gossip, people with different lifestyles/goals, medications, alcohol and of course- drugs and promiscuous sex. These common “solutions” won’t fix your anxiety, instead, it might even be counterproductive.

Most likely you tried all these “expert outlets.” I’m shocked, absolutely bewildered these mainstream methods to peace didn’t help!

Ready to try something new?

  • What to do to free your mind

It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Life will never disappoint us: there are challenges for everyone. If you’re willing to put an end, or at the very least, curb on this ‘end of the world’ thinking (which leads to behavior) for you can enjoy life’s blessings, try these simple tasks I do religiously. Build a structure. Make it into a routine.

Prayer- a private conversation with the creator of the universe. No evil thoughts. No judgment. Just a God who loves you and is there for you.

Make your bed- this will bring a sense of accomplishment to start the day, and to come home to a clean bed.. who can complain about that?

Eating a healthy balanced diet- you are what you eat! This can be fun as you start to create and commit to a new eating routine. Rid the junk and replace it with fresh foods. You will be amazed by how this affects your thinking… positively of course.

Wash your face twice a day and keep yourself well-groomed- again, another step towards a better you with better thoughts ahead. Hello handsome!

Exercise- this is super important. Not only for your physical health but for your mental. Find a gym and commit at least 3 days a week in there. Don’t make outrageous commitments. Start small. Your thoughts will turn from darkness to hopeful after every great workout.

Read and write- daily. This is your private vent. Your creativity. Your time to listen (when you read, you’re listening) and try to write down 3 goals for your day. When you accomplish it, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Another activity to look forward to: write down 5 tally marks in your daily entry. Each to represent something kind you did or said to someone that day.

Work- to avoid feeling useless and hopeless, what better outlet is there to get a job? Someone to pay you for your service. Unhappy or underpaid currently? Get a new job baby! This is the free market. No chains to bind you. You are free to move. Apply. Apply. Reply. (Denied.) Apply. Reply. Accept!

Speak when you need to- a time to speak, a time to zip it! When you do speak, it is almost like a published work. You cannot take it back fully if you misspoke. So be careful and mindful. Try to also speak with an “inside voice” when communicating. Expand your vocabulary. (You have been reading, haven’t you?) You expand on this, your thoughts will run wild.

People- surround yourself with loving people. People with similar goals and lifestyles. Family is also very important. Even if you have just one person. Love that person, service, use kinder words and watch your life become happier.

What are you waiting for? Peaceful thoughts await!

Be selfish for you can be generous

No man will work for your interest unless they are his

David Seabury

The quote above tells how the entire world works. However, America has executed this truth in a unique way. Which its result caused an abundance of wealth, leadership and security.


Being selfish has always been seen as a negative thing.

In the East, it’s every man for his own. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours… maybe.

Unless you are someone who appears to have wealth, a tourist (or if you’re dealing with a seriously religious person)- the world is not a fan of generosity. They must think of themselves and then close relatives in order to survive.

The West, particularly America, on the other hand, has a different motto which separates itself from the rest of the world.

Whether in a large scale such as America getting involved in foreign wars: a selfish motive unless it’s a direct attack or to prevent one, for the citizens of the United States.

How about on a smaller scale such as the individual: one investing on his own needs before doing favors for others- also may seem selfish.

The way America has handled foreign policy to a personal citizen’s choice, has overall been a step to the right direction.


America conducts itself differently

To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means to preserving peace

George Washington Jan. 8th 1790 First annual message to congress

The 5 Star general military expert and America’s first president was aware that if potential enemies know that America is ready for war, with weapons and training, then enemies will not even flirt with the idea to commit aggression against the United States.

This thinking from our nation’s beloved first president still holds truth today. Washington is not only talking about a wellformed army (which many countries already have) but its citizens also to be armed and disciplined.

Another popular idea of many countries is foreign involvement. Mostly for real estate, power and control reasons. America is different from this policy as well. Washington tells America to avoid being dragged into overseas conflict:

It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliance with any portion of the foreign world…. are essentially foreign to our concerns…. America’s detached and distant situation… [should be an easier avoidant into warfare.]

George Washington

Washington made it clear if a nation which “indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave’– it gets distracted and suspends its only duty of pursuing its own true interest.

Two easy ways the American can avoid meddling into foreign affairs: our values are different. Our geographical location, separated from the world by two large oceans also represents something deeper. It brings us back to our first point of having different ideas of a nation.

Although the wisdom of Washington cannot be stressed more, Americans have recently abandoned their leader’s advice and joined the activities of the world. After WW2, the NATO agreement offered very little for the American but gave much American money and man power for Europe.

America is able to do good while being the first to respond to tragedies; both domestically and internationally because America focused on itself for many years. America also set the bar high for human achievement and became a world influence by setting an upright example in practice that the world wishes to mimic.


Should the individual be selfish to eventually become generous?

Well, how else can one offer something if he doesn’t have the means to offer?

Just because someone is willing to do something doesn’t mean much if he isn’t ready to provide it.

Similar to Washington’s advice to prepare for warfare- even if you’re not going to war, one must be ready to back up the talk to avoid the fight. Now, how can he prepare himself if he has no weapons? No training? No right to bare arms?

At an early stage of the nation or individual, these values must be taught. It is also better to learn skills and have training young in order to make life much more easier for the long run.

If your noble goal is to serve your community (and profit comes second or none)- God bless you for your rare motive! This too was the pilgrims’ desire: to create God’s kingdom on earth. Gold came second or not even important. However, the pilgrims still had to offer something uniquely different from the world. Their knowledge of scriptures and carrying it out daily, took a massive commitment to lifetime training and dedication.

If the goal was to, for example, teach reading for people can read the Bible, (many people all over the world were illiterate)- then first the teacher needed to know how to read for himself. At one point in his life, this teacher spent hours learning how to read, and then to understand the Bible. Only after this is he able to teach others.

People will listen to those who understand and practices his work- not to someone who speaks like a blabbering pagan.

Suppose your main goal is profit. Honestly, profit is the best goal. While I agree with the pilgrims’ religious teachings, I would certainly disagree with the Marxist teachings. Had a Marxist came off the Mayflower, free or pay- I am not interested in a Marxist utopian idea. You might not be interested in the Bible. But money is the proof of hard work and free exchange for all ideas. This is where a Marxist and religious person can shake hands in a transaction.

In order to do so, one party must have previously invested his time to create and develop his service or product. It might have seemed selfish when he started his mission, but the community eventually benefited through his sacrifice of immediate pleasure for a long term goal of uncertain wealth.

On the flip side, the consumer must have earned his wealth elsewhere in order to purchase the innovator’s product. The consumer himself is an investor: both in the product and how he obtains his wealth to even make this transaction.

Another motivation is love.

Have you seen anyone more selfish than a 15-year-old boy? Everything is certainly about him. But introduce a beautiful girl, now the young boy has the interest to suddenly become a highly skilled electrician to purchase this girl the best flowers he can.

No matter for the greater good, profit or love- one must develop himself in order to be generous. This requires disciple, structure, sacrifice, practice, training and even isolation in order to achieve greatness.


The time when the act of selfishness must be suspended

Is there a time or situation when being selfish must be avoided?

Yes.

In relationships: Marriage. As individuals with parents. As parents with children. There is no room for your selfish ways at this moment.

One thing I’ve notice reading Ayn Rand books is that there are no children in them. Also translating to, no future.

There must be a future. A purpose in order to have a meaningful life.

When you’re in a relationship, its a two way street. You might not want to visit grandma and watch watch her play crossword puzzles with an old neighbor named Sally. But as her grandchild, you know you’re obligated to do so every Sunday afternoon.

Although it’s only one day of the week she sees you, you’re the reason why she gets out of bed each day. She looks forward to your Sunday visits starting when you leave Sunday evening. Even if they are spent in silence, your presence alone shows you care.

After you leave your weekly visit, you have a sense of worth. You not only committed to family but you begin to think: I won’t be alone either when I’m her age.

This works the opposite: be generous (with your time, something that requires zero training). You’ll experience by doing so, you’re actually gaining self-control. Honoring your word. Patience. Human interaction. So much more virtues that you can take with you into the workforce and in romace.

You’ll eventually have the same treatment in return. Even if there is nothing to gain other than your smile. Remember, like money, people are attracted to good energy. Something you have unknowligly developed through your Sunday visits with grandma.

The same works with gift giving. This has been practiced in every culture for thousands of years.

You’re giving not because the Bible says so, your parents or even society told you too. You’re giving because you want too. Again, invest in yourself for you can experience this joy at anytime.

What is the hidden exchange with gift giving?

First, the person you’re giving too must accept your gift. Their smile, joy, and suspense are worth the giving. This brings a sensation to you of accomplishment.

You were not only thanked, but for a moment you were seen. Heard. Even within love, there is a trade-off.

The trade off is not material, but more of a spiritual one.

This is one, which is love, is the best deal made.

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