Enjoy marriage: How to get your husband to do anything

Yes, I have discovered the answer to one of life’s greatest secret treasures: how to get your husband to do what you want.

Please.

Hold the applause until the end.

Reading up on Men’s magazines, their books and eavesdropping in on their podcast- I learned a bit more about our furry partners called men. Apparently, the fur is designed to protect men from facing nature’s danger… and it’s also used as a defensive mechanism against other creatures- including women!

But it wasn’t until many years of marriage and having a son did I finally get to tap in (from a far distance because I still lack understanding of the male species) on the man’s brain.

Is there a way to get across to our husbands, peacefully while achieving a win/win outcome?

Oh, you better believe it!

Ladies.
No more nagging.
No more complaining.
No more explaining.
No more silent treatment.

No more “constructive criticism.” – (They really dislike this one. More on this later.)
Note to men: Please let me know if I’m correct, almost or not even close.

Time to sit back and enjoy marriage like it’s designed for.


It’s clear we love our husbands. However, society insists people are “born this way.” As some fool once said, “If you love someone, you wouldn’t change them.”

Give me a break.

Life is about change and growth. We aren’t animals in a vicious cycle, are we? No. We have a purpose. A constant yearning to strive. A challenge. A goal with structure and deadlines. Accomplishment in the face of struggle makes us alive.

Therefore, of course, we want our husband to grow. We want him with more money. More time with us and the children. More help around the house. More in touch with God. (And with more muscle…) When we bring this up, it comes off to him as “complaints and nagging” to his ears.

Bottom line he isn’t listening via talk or email. You’re not getting through to him.

Next, you seriously sit down and have a conversation with him. You politely explain to him that you love him. This is only constructive criticism which is intended to help both of us- our marriage, you rationalize.

Yikes. That did it.

Translation to a man’s brain: I’m not man enough?! Nothing is ever good for you. You’re comparing me to other men. I lack ambition? I work my butt off for this family! 

Sounds familiar?

Well. May I suggest another route? Honestly.

What else do you have to lose?

These 4 methods have been proven in my personal life. I’ve also seen it done within marriages of over 15+ years. Each method goes accordingly to different circumstances. Be wise about your approach. Be honest as well. The arguments will lessen. The stress is less. Both parties will get what they want- and yes. The love and romance will skyrocket.


Absence makes the heart fonder

Time apart does wonders. Ask any corporate and/or military wife. Being apart from one another makes us want each other more. Including doing acts for the other spouse. Promises you now make while apart, to which you do intend to keep because that is how much you miss each other! You’ll be amazed at the level of flirtation, text messages and romance received through distance. Once united: it will feel so good!

Always see each other? Well, buzz off somewhere for a few hours! Tell him to visit his parents. Or encourage him to get a testosterone boost by hanging out with his buddies. (Men need male bonding more than women need “girl time.” More on that within a different post.) Go out shopping without him but take his credit card. (You see, he is still there.. via MasterCard.) Just take some time apart where you can actually recharge and miss each other.

Eye contact

Sometimes words don’t need to be spoken. A look of seduction. Or a look in need will get the job done.

Don’t be confused with the silent treatment, which can go on for days and turn ugly. This eye contact is a one time use, and use it for a brief interaction.

Suppose he is being difficult. Just stop the conversation by looking at him. Smile halfway. Then let him proceed. The moment of silence (with a Mona Lisa smile) will make him rethink his position. This one works extremely well for me, personally and requires little from my end.

How are you dressed?

This is my favorite because I’m a master at this.

Men are visual creatures. Although men don’t care if you are wearing a $2,000 dress or a $20 dress- they want you to look good. (This grooming helps our mood if we do. This is also a win/win.) Yes, your husband “loves you for who you are.” Also, I’m aware you “love your husband through hard times.” But why place yourself there when it’s unnecessary?

Men: don’t assume your wife will be tolerant for long if you’re unemployed for too long. Women: don’t expect your husband to still lust after you when you haven’t waxed your eyebrows in 2 years and he only sees you in a grandmother’s nightgown.

Men want their women so attractive, they will even provide the funding. Give it a try.

Next time he comes home, make sure you’re wearing a dress with heels and have your hair done. Bonus if you have food ready for him.

His mood will be lifted. Make this a lifestyle because doing it once- it gets pretty suspicious and may come across artificial. Men love a natural feminine woman. They strongly dislike a woman they have to compete with. Be his companion. His helper. He is already fighting against the world. He already loves you. (A man doesn’t marry for security, wealth or status purposes. They do so for love.) This type of effort from your part will urge him to move mountains for you.

You wouldn’t believe what I got my husband to do just by dressing up in a red dress, red lipstick, heels and having his dinner ready for him before he came home.

The man suddenly became a highly skilled carpenter. (Among other things!) Besides. I do enjoy how my legs look in this outfit…

Now. For The Secret Weapon: OTHER MEN!

Here it is. Try using “logic” to get your husband to make a move. Try crying. Try sex even. It won’t work!

Do you know men turn off a woman’s speech just after the first 6 minutes? That’s why you’re repeating yourself and reassuring he is listening. (He is not.) But men can honestly hear another man speak (with the same message!) for hours! Outrageous, I’ll say.

If you want your husband, for example, to exercise more- he has to hear the message from his friends. There is no other choice. This is the secret weapon right here: It has to come from other men he respects.

The idea also has to come from him when you both sit down and talk about it. Men have a strong desire to be needed. Their brains. Their muscle. Their love must be needed. They want to be able to provide and protect. They need to deliver results. They have a deep longing to be needed.., especially by a woman! ONE woman.

While women, (who don’t want that burden of being needed) desire to be wanted. You do want your husband to want you? To cater to you? To know what you want? Well then. Allow him to figure things out. To take charge. Let him know you need him.

If your husband discusses growth with another man, he will come home to you excited like a young boy who just received a Ninja Turtle toy: “Honey, guess what? A great idea!” (An idea that you secretly wanted him to jump on for a while.)

Think back to any bright ideas you may have had. Sure, he might have agreed to do them. Only to deliver with a sloppy job with a half heart in it- hoping it will fail. He is eager to say to you: You see. I told you so!

But if it came from him, he cannot retreat to this conduct. He must follow through. It is best sealed when it came from speaking or even watching other men.

After the task is complete, he will be a new man. A better one. A stronger one. He will also know he couldn’t have accomplished it without you.

Therefore, both parties will get what their hearts truly desires. However, in order to do this- one must use their head.

Now go ahead and have your husband build that bookcase you’ve been wanting him to do.

Don’t forget to put on lipstick!

The unspoken girl power

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

-George Bernard Shaw

Seeing an ad promoting what my mind rejects always intrigues me.

Intrigued in a sense where I don’t doubt myself, instead I ask myself: who would believe this nonsense?

But as it turns out- many people do buy into the unreal.

Going to college for advertising drew my attention to identify the trickery methods used. For example: The colors red and yellow trigger hunger strikes to the brain. This is why it is used for mostly all fast food advertising- even laced into their logos.

Advertisement works (why else will a company invest millions into it?) for commercial purposes. Advertising also works to influence society. The goal is to sell you something. A product. A service. An ideology.

One of the most common themes of society’s slogans goes as follows: “Girls run the world.” “Girl power.” “The future is female.”

Amazingly enough, society’s messages are great with telling half-truths. Just like all advertisement. What’s interesting about this agenda (girl power) is the reason why society is truly promoting this. There are many spectulations but I tend to agree with this one: to weaken the West/world to set forward for an easy worldwide tyranny.

We all experieced the painful inconvenient to life, One Million Women’s March. Now could you imagine a One Million Men’s March? That is war.

This post will not focus on the possbile motivation to this movement, but rather to zoom in on why women don’t need to submit to this ideology to “feel” empowered. She has already been empowered- without a women’s movement or organization.

Let’s keep one basic principle in mind: if one has to boast (or raise “awareness”) it probably isn’t all that great to begin with. The idea or the product can sell for itself. Think back at your Apple store. How many advertisements have you seen of their products? A few, but not many. When you walk by an Apple store, it’s always busy. The store operates as a showroom. The product sells itself. The consumer knows what he/she wants.


 

The fable of the girl power. The Making of the New Woman: She sleeps with whoever she likes- without the development of feelings, guilt or risk of STDs. She has access to abortions paid by men while claiming her independence. This New Woman marches troops into Moscow during winter without training and easily capturing the city.  She plays a sport with just as much or more endurance of a man. She is able to fight off a large man without any formal training or weapon at hand. The New Woman, almost godlike, receives high-quality wisdom through little to no life experience. Lastly, while she is competeing against men she continues to assault other women and ignores the sufferings of real victims to only focus on her life decisions (always made correctly) and pleasures.

Is this New Woman even human at this point?

This is not a productive, healthy nor realistic view and it actually hurts women in the long run. Causing a stunt to growth of human innovation and relations. It hurts men and children if women have this odd mindset. Instead of seeking an artificial power, women should elevate their given talents and gifts to the highest point.

One easy advantage women have is getting a man to do what she wants.

Yes, it’s really that simple but such a powerful tool when used correctly. The best part is that there is no need to “trick” or mislead a man. There is a common understanding with this, moreover- he welcomes it!

Women shouldn’t waste an entire lifetime playing games that conflict with our natural desires and abilities. While some desires are not helpful to becoming a better person, other desires are.

Most women enjoy being with their family and community. Women enjoy people while men typically enjoy things. Women enjoy shopping and looking beautiful. They enjoy being wanted by a man. The real power is to embrace this with little effort making your life more easier and the less use of muscle labor.  If given the option, women should embrace this to help ease the burdens of a painful life.

 


 

Take a look throughout the historical figures we analyze. The bravery of those men was only enhanced and executed because of the women in their life. Noah finished building his arc because of the wife he had. The Bible speaks little of her, but we can assume she was a good wife because Noah finished the job God told him to do.  The job requires muscle pull, but work is very stressful and Noah needed a mental support system as well.

When men go to war to protect their homeland, do you know what is the top priority? Is it to preserve the lovely skyscrapers and bridges? Yes that is part of it, for surely the enemy will reduce the structures into ashes. But the top concern is to protect their women and children who are indeed the foundation of these structures. Women and children will be the most immediate gift to the enemy if they achieve their goal of conquering, not the real estate or resources which takes longer to see the benefits.  (I read a lot of war books.)

Note: take a look at the poorest countries in the world. Then examine the relationship between men and women there. A country’s wealth is determined by the way the women and children are treated. If the men take responsibility or not. If the men abuse the power or not. If the men are present or not.

When women are man’s weakness, all is good for the woman for she has an advantage.

Recently women have subconsciously rejected this gift and subscribed to the notion of “independence”. Only to ask herself why no man loves her? But she rejected love in the pursuit of (at many times unnecessary) labor.

I’ve understood this unspoken power since my father. One look and he gave me anything I wanted. Then as I got older, I applied that logic to the young boys at my school. Let’s just say, Valentine’s Day was never a dull holiday! Moving into the workforce, I would hardly call it work. My experience at all my jobs went well because of the (men) management above me. Who needed a worker’s union when you have a beautiful smile? That was my job security because it certainly wasn’t a worker’s union or my work ethic.

My success is never credited to a woman’s organization.

My success is credited to God, my parents, family and the use of my human mind. (Smiling helped. Bigly.)


Options

To be a professional or not to be? That is the question.

One of the greatest gifts that emerged from the industrial revolution is that women (not men) have an option to join the workforce. If she wants to work 40+ hours then quit her job to world travel, she has that option. If she seeks a part-time job at her hometown to be near her children’s school, she has that option. If she wants to devote herself to a life of a homemaker, there is that option. Underneath all the noise of the world, society will ignore a woman’s (private) decision on this issue more than a man’s decision not to participate in the workforce.

Anyone who attacks these options in the name of the “common good” is not pre-Middle Ages, but pre-language. There is nothing progressive or “new” with the idea of working from sunrise to sunset like an animal without the freedom not too.

The true girl power energy should be directed to being who you truly are. If it truly is a career woman- best of luck to you! But no one should be guilt into doing a line of work, this includes marriage and parenthood. I’ve seen many women tricked, hurt and broken by making bad decisions all because they have listened to what society has told them. If our current wave is taking the woman out of the home or forcing the woman into the kitchen- both can be troublesome and extreme. This is why a balanced lifestyle between structure and freedom to choose should always remain in a civil society.

Meanwhile, those who they took advice from on how to live, never practiced what they preached. Those who attacked marriage were married. Those who attacked money, always had money themselves. (Karl Marx, I’m talking to you.) These are the hypocrites. Then the ones who lack experience want to offer unsolicited advice: childless people writing parenting books or worst- running the board of education. People who have no interest in helping their host country seeks to run public office to (slowly) change the laws. A Spanish Pope rewriting an entire religion because of what he feels.

Once a woman learns to truly love herself. Show kindness. Be polite. Resourceful. Patient. Go through terrible experiences and overcome the tragic events with an optimistic attitude about life. Being thankful. Sincerely enjoy her place in the world. Loving the women in her life before becoming a spokeswoman for the foreign woman. Realizing giving support to the men in her life is helping the women in hers as well. A woman who didn’t fall prey to society’s control hold. She not only becomes more beautiful but inspirational to all.


Honorable mentions of  women throughout history that had their cake and ate it too:

  • Cleopatra’s hold on Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony
  • Josephine’s pull to a young Napoleon who wouldn’t move his troops without her approval
  • Mona Lisa’s smile shows the contrast between reserve and seduction
  • Bathsheba knowing when and where to get the attention from King David- as if accidental
  • Marilyn Monroe’s walk, soft speech and eye contact to get the US President’s approval

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I didn’t marry my best friend. Here’s why:

“Baby, am I your best friend?” I asked my husband. Although I already knew the answer- I needed to hear it from him. After a burst of laughter he coldly answered: “No.” Well. Likewise! But let’s be honest. We often hear people say: “Marry someone who you could laugh with. Travel with. Have fun with.… Continue reading No, I didn’t marry my best friend. Here’s why: