Green-eyed monster? Here are 4 truths on why you shouldn’t be!

Look at them.

They look so gorgeous. In love. And wealthy. As for you, you’re… well, you’re you. How could you not be slightly envious? Or more difficult, how can you be happy for someone else success when you secretly aren’t because it’s a reminder that you yourself is a failure?

You’re only a failure because you think and speak it. When a person is envious it just means they settled in life. They compromised. They didn’t keep on working (for whatever excuse one might have). In the end, they gave up and regret it.

No need to spend your life in this manner.

I’ve read many books of people restarting their life and successfully moving on to accomplishment. One story I will never forget is about a 52-year-old military history writer. He loved warfare: the strategies, uniforms, discipline, rules of engagement, and weapons. Such a brilliant and passionate man, but he had one problem:

No one actually listened to him because he never served in the military. On top of that, he found himself growing intensely envious of the glory the war leaders received from the troops. The power. The action. The respect. The love from his army. ARGH!

This writer did something incredible to put in an end to this negative emotion, at the age of 55 years old he enlisted into the army. He rose through the ranks rapidly. He became a celebrated hero in his country. Futhermore, he became ruler of his country. Action, not paper- with this he finally gains his life dream and respect which he earned.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

― Henry Ford

There is always a hunger for great talent and skills in the marketplace. Especially in a forgiving home as America or within a religion like Christianity. While there are truths that both the Bible and our personal experience can confirm, some life decisions we made a while ago have very long consequences. Some may range for a few weeks. Others can be a punishment that can last years or even cost us our own life. (This is why one must be both book and street smart.)

Nevertheless, we will work with what is unfairly dealt to us in life or what foolish decisions we brought to ourselves. We are here to live. To fulfill, even what might seem like a minor goal such as obtaining your driver’s license. It’s your life. The desire is still lurking because the envy, the longing is there. It’s not over unless you say it is.


Here are 4 truths on why there is no need to envy:

4. True fulfillment and joy in life doesn’t need an explanation

I see this mistake in so many people I speak with. You’ve probably heard (or have said) similar things such as:

“I’m glad I didn’t enlist in the army! Heck, I’m not fighting a bankers war! I’m no sucker! I’m completely happy they didn’t get me!” But if you further the conservation with this type, as I do, they will quickly expose their regret. I say, “But you’re a patriot bro! My goodness, the honor. The respect. The skills they teach. Travel and guns! Plus you get paid? That sounds like a sweet deal, not a scam.”

The look of guilt flushes their face, then the sad confession kicks in: “But I missed my opportunity…”

Another infamous one I hear is from childless people. “Kids? Ha! I’m extremely happy without brats! They’re expensive. They are an inconvenience! They’re annoying. I’m completely living it up.”

Then, like the dodger, I get this people as well.

“I can’t believe that. You would’ve made an excellent father! Oh man, not to mention how gorgeous your children would’ve been. Sad you’re keeping your seed to yourself, the world is missing out! Plus, they come in handy for retirement buddy! Well, I know you’re a great uncle, so I cannot accept your discontent in children. Come over for Thanksgiving to my house.”

The look on their face is priceless. Truth for this is, mostly this person hasn’t “found” a committed person to marry and trust. Or they are completely focused with their career (this is for women), missing out an opportunity to become a parent.

If an indvidual is truly content with their choices in life, there is no need to randomly explain yourself. Certainly no need to put down the other people who decided to enlist in the army or have a family.

From what I hear, it gets cold when you’re older. You need your memories (like the army stories or whatever you passed up) and grandchildren to warm you.

Reconfirming to others that you didn’t need these investments, doesn’t confirm it and you’re only speaking to yourself. In fact, this unneeded explanation has the opposite effect: it shows you want it and regretting you didn’t commit to it.

People like this aren’t as thrilled with their life as they say. No need to envy the explainer AKA the complainer.

3. Fake news is also attention seeking news: grass isn’t always greener on the other side

Long before social media envy of strangers, there was a more face to face envy. Hence the saying “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” (Showing human nature hasn’t changed.) It is still common to be envious over a family member you see often, a neighbor or a co-worker. THIS short article shows that money doesn’t buy happiness. It must come from within.

When people broadcast their happy life, understand two things first:

  • They are only showing the happiest moments in their life. Even if it seems to be everyday ‘happiness’, people are public performers. Read their shallow captions for further detail.
  • True happiness doesn’t have time to document it live. Therefore, they aren’t enjoying the moment. Do photographers have a blast at a wedding? They are too busy working. Selfie takers are also working and ignoring what could be a fun time. Their mind is on a perfect pic, edit, upload and sit back to see the likes.

Don’t get me wrong. I will snap a photo of the Grand Canyon while I’m on a visit. Will be hesitant to share my glory on social media. But for sure, I won’t make a documentary on my trip to the Grand Canyon unless I’m working for the History Channel. I want to enjoy the time, let the memory sit while respecting my company.

If you notice there is someone who is constantly seeking online attention with their ‘amazing’ life- then simply unfollow. What a great relief it brings. If this person doesn’t offer anything but an online diary that you cannot gain from, they serve no purpose.

Many people fool themselves into saying, “I’m inspiring the world! Come join my pointless journey of finding myself (which I never do) and be inspired!”

Inspiration comes from the struggling silent. No need to envy this empty goof.

[Bringing back my celebrity couple who appear to have it all: looks, money, and love. Traveling to Switzerland while I’m stuck at work, raising kids and letting the best years of my life fly by. Or am I? Don’t read too much into it. What I have noticed with these flashy people is something radical occurs in most of their lives: when they reach to their 40s, their looks are non-human. They are divorced. Broke. And having interviews about how unhappy they were in that marriage- conflicting their wonderful fun pictures of the past.

By the time I’m in my 40s, all my children are adults. In fact, one will graduate college and I will still be in my 30s! So prepare the Eastern European skies. When my time of child raising is over, I’ll be sexy in Switzerland drinking a cup of hot chocolate with my family!]

2. You can still achieve in life at anything you set your mind to

What a controversy statement to make nowadays!

It’s because it’s true. Lies seem to be accepted as “your truth” rather than the one and only truth.

While you don’t need to follow the clueless people who go through life with drama and no purpose- you can gain inspiration from the humble earner results. How can you find these types?

If you desire to have a family, go read about those who have long marriages and successful children. What’s their “secret?” Don’t follow a “family” like the Kardashians.

If you decide more wealth, follow the quiet self-made earner. Not only will you learn more about money, but you’ll learn about character. They are eager to teach those who want to learn and practice their ways.

Focus on yourself and get to work. After you found your humble mentor for encouragement and reminders: it can be done. They did it, so can you. They are not super-human. It is available to all. I don’t care about the ‘white privilege’ lie. Many whites struggle, suffer and die a failure. Just like anyone else who made bad choices. (Telling young white straight boys, in particular, is a psychological trick to actually create a sense of supreme from doing nothing which hinders their growth while telling other groups ‘you don’t have a chance.’ Bad all around.) The only advantage is being born rich and having married parents.

So, if you don’t have this real type of advantage, get busy. Lay out a plan and with deadlines. Get organized and find ways to achieve each point. It may seem far away- but that is why it’s called an investment. Short-time easy goals (like buying an expensive burger) excitement quickly comes to a halt when you realize you need bus fare. Don’t focus at how far the last chapter is yet. You already know there is 35, just start with the first. (They say it takes 7-10 years to master a skill. Get going!)

Pretty soon with your sacrifice, you will realize how fast time has gone by. Your goal will be achieved with your back against the wall fighting each step. It is earned slowly and less likely to die off quickly. Similar to earning your own money rather than being given money for no reason.

The great feeling of a smart sacrifice pays off at the end.

Life is about sacrifice.

Choose wisely.

Side note: A few years back, I created a vision poster board which I encourage you to do. On it I had cut and paste images from magazines onto this board. Images of things I wanted. Some were simple. Others were more difficult to obtain. And one needed a miracle. Here what was on the board:

A slow cooker. A ninja blender. A fancy washer and dryer- yes the ones that cost thousands of US dollars. A bodybuilder’s body. Travel around America on a road trip. A BMW. A house on the mountains like you see in a car commercial. A happy family with a husband and four children. Two girls and two boys.

The miracle (somewhat out of my control) is the family one. Would you believe I’m on track for that one? The Lord blesses me! At the time I was legally married with two daughters. My son came and I would like another son someday. The house in snowy North Dakota will be achieved if I want. All others have been fulfilled. I cried when I located this poster board recently.

  1. Your goals and aspirations are between you and God- through Him all things are possible 

As difficult as it may be, shut off the noise. Shut off the distractions. If it doesn’t aim towards your goal should you allow any of your energy to have it? Get rid of self-doubt. The negative scene, people or potatoe chips. Re-set your mindset.

Who will stop you if the Lord is with you? When David from the Bible kept on having incredible success on the battlefield, King Saul asked: “How?”

“The Lord is with me.” He answered.

The Lord will be with you too. If you allow Him. He hasn’t abandoned you. He desires greatness from you- and expects it. There is no need to stress or be envious with what you do not have. As long as you use honest methods. Start building, remain consistent, learn, grow and focused, you will get what your heart desires.

Advice: keep it to yourself. You’re only an inspiration after you achieve. Some might suggest to let the world know of your goals because you’re most likely to follow through. Well, how has that worked out for the online braggers? Instead, share with a few loved ones who are close to you. They will be watching. Even they are skeptical and still need to see results so you will have to follow through with that personal audience watching.

I depart with these two verses:

Psalm 37:4 4Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 20:4 4May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

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Kindness shown from an unlikely place?

Just in time for Christmas! This short story tells a personal account I had encounter back in 2009. My goal is to inform you about the good of the American people by sharing this. This lesson remains with me to this day and forever.


The Americans combine the notions of religion and liberty so intimately in their minds, that it is impossible to make them conceive of one without the other.


Alexis de Tocqueville

On a warm Spring day in New York City, getting to work on time is the only thing on a New Yorker’s mind. I’ve recently landed a city job with the Police Department within the telecommunications branch. Although thankful for the opportunity to work for the largest police force in America at such a young age (great pay, schedule, and full benefits) I was somewhat uncomfortable at the time.

I was five months pregnant with my second child.

Hardly visibly showing in my pregnancy, I dashed out my Manhattan apartment with a coat on and a purse within my hand. I just have to get there on time. I thought to myself as I did cardio to the subway. 

Little did I know, not only I will not make it on time: I will not be at work today.

Finally arrived on a crowded train headed to Brooklyn.

The funny thing about New York’s Spring is the temperature. It is very cold in the morning, warm in the afternoon. What is a person to wear? At this point, the heat started to pick up. Due to my rush of leaving my home, I left my bottle of water. Now thirsty, I stand holding firmly to the standing bar within the train.

My eye scan around the cart went nowhere. No seat available. Who would offer a pregnant young woman a seat with a heavy coat on? Again- I wasn’t showing. It’s appropriate to mention, it wouldn’t have mattered! This is the age for equality. Thanks, feminist! You suck! 

But as the ride continued, I began to feel dizzy. All I needed was a cup of water and a seat. Those two basic things were denied to me. 

What happened next is unbelievable.

I passed out and collapsed to the ground.

Next thing I knew, I gain back my consciousness slowly while laying on the train’s floor. My head was on a lady’s lap- who was also on the floor with me. But my attention gazed on the man squatted in front of me. He unbuttoned my coat.

That is when he saw my stomach. 

“She is pregnant you fools!” He shouted at everyone on the train. “No one could have offered her a seat?!” I looked up. People were standing around me. Those who remained seated had their heads down in shame.

Then someone had pulled the emergency bar to stop the train for a sick passenger. That would be me.

When the doors opened, the man carried me out the train. A few people followed us out. 

Similar feeling.

I couldn’t speak. What’s going on? I thought. The man placed me down onto the bench as EMS and the police were on their way. The man bought me a water bottle and someone bought me pretzels. The lady whose lap was a pillow comforted me and reassured help is on the way.

“My help is right here.” I finally spoken with a crooked smile. After I took a large sip of water, I explained to everyone I had to go to work. The man who carried me said “Absolutely not! You’re going to see a doctor. Don’t worry about work.” 

“You don’t understand. I just started this job. I don’t want to lose it.” I spoke with my head down, still confused over the faint.

He paused for a moment. Then he asked, “What is your job number? I’ll speak with your boss.”

“It’s 9-1-1.”

We all started laughing.

Even in times of stress, there is always room for a smile. This is something in my nature.

The EMS showed up with a large stretcher and the police came next. Medical services took over when a man lifted me up onto the stretcher. (Gee, was this embarrassing. All on a NYC subway platform!)  My stranger friends wish me a great recovery, I thanked them and we departed. The kind lady gave me her phone number just in case I need her help after the hospital visit.

Being that I worked for NYPD, a police officer stood with me all the way until I was admitted into the hospital. We rode the ambulance together and spoke about my scare.

Everything went out well. Turns out, I was dehydrated. My baby is doing well. My job excused my absence.

But one important take back I got from this experience is how good the American people are to help a stranger like me. But we weren’t exactly strangers. They are my fellow countrymen.

I will always remember the good and have the will of passing on the goodness I was shown on that hot Spring day in the NYC subway.

Merry Christmas.




Fashion is spiritual

Oh, it’s just clothing who cares? Surely you’ve heard about the multi-billion dollar industry called fashion? Yes. If humans are exchanging their labor in order to purchase a warm (fancy?) winter coat, it must be important. People have been purchasing clothing for the weather, recreational purposes, work-related and warfare since the beginning of time. Even… Continue reading Fashion is spiritual

To soulmate or helpmate? That is the question.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. – Genesis 2:18   Many people in our society today is in love with the idea of being in love. For many, people would pour a heavy amount of energy on the wedding… Continue reading To soulmate or helpmate? That is the question.

The only BMW in the parking lot

Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. —Jodi Picoult The great joy one experiences when starting new employment is electrifying. Aside from the… Continue reading The only BMW in the parking lot

The good that came from the Brett Kavanaugh hearings?

Let’s be clear: I’m not a fan of corrupt means to achieve the goal. I’m not in favor of sacrificing the innocent for the greater good. Although time consuming and discipline is required, we can have both: honest methods = honest results in America. However, as a religious person, I do believe God can take… Continue reading The good that came from the Brett Kavanaugh hearings?

The unspoken girl power

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

-George Bernard Shaw

Seeing an ad promoting what my mind rejects always intrigues me.

Intrigued in a sense where I don’t doubt myself, instead I ask myself: who would believe this nonsense?

But as it turns out- many people do buy into the unreal.

Going to college for advertising drew my attention to identify the trickery methods used. For example: The colors red and yellow trigger hunger strikes to the brain. This is why it is used for mostly all fast food advertising- even laced into their logos.

Advertisement works (why else will a company invest millions into it?) for commercial purposes. Advertising also works to influence society. The goal is to sell you something. A product. A service. An ideology.

One of the most common themes of society’s slogans goes as follows: “Girls run the world.” “Girl power.” “The future is female.”

Amazingly enough, society’s messages are great with telling half-truths. Just like all advertisement. What’s interesting about this agenda (girl power) is the reason why society is truly promoting this. There are many spectulations but I tend to agree with this one: to weaken the West/world to set forward for an easy worldwide tyranny.

We all experieced the painful inconvenient to life, One Million Women’s March. Now could you imagine a One Million Men’s March? That is war.

This post will not focus on the possbile motivation to this movement, but rather to zoom in on why women don’t need to submit to this ideology to “feel” empowered. She has already been empowered- without a women’s movement or organization.

Let’s keep one basic principle in mind: if one has to boast (or raise “awareness”) it probably isn’t all that great to begin with. The idea or the product can sell for itself. Think back at your Apple store. How many advertisements have you seen of their products? A few, but not many. When you walk by an Apple store, it’s always busy. The store operates as a showroom. The product sells itself. The consumer knows what he/she wants.


 

The fable of the girl power. The Making of the New Woman: She sleeps with whoever she likes- without the development of feelings, guilt or risk of STDs. She has access to abortions paid by men while claiming her independence. This New Woman marches troops into Moscow during winter without training and easily capturing the city.  She plays a sport with just as much or more endurance of a man. She is able to fight off a large man without any formal training or weapon at hand. The New Woman, almost godlike, receives high-quality wisdom through little to no life experience. Lastly, while she is competeing against men she continues to assault other women and ignores the sufferings of real victims to only focus on her life decisions (always made correctly) and pleasures.

Is this New Woman even human at this point?

This is not a productive, healthy nor realistic view and it actually hurts women in the long run. Causing a stunt to growth of human innovation and relations. It hurts men and children if women have this odd mindset. Instead of seeking an artificial power, women should elevate their given talents and gifts to the highest point.

One easy advantage women have is getting a man to do what she wants.

Yes, it’s really that simple but such a powerful tool when used correctly. The best part is that there is no need to “trick” or mislead a man. There is a common understanding with this, moreover- he welcomes it!

Women shouldn’t waste an entire lifetime playing games that conflict with our natural desires and abilities. While some desires are not helpful to becoming a better person, other desires are.

Most women enjoy being with their family and community. Women enjoy people while men typically enjoy things. Women enjoy shopping and looking beautiful. They enjoy being wanted by a man. The real power is to embrace this with little effort making your life more easier and the less use of muscle labor.  If given the option, women should embrace this to help ease the burdens of a painful life.

 


 

Take a look throughout the historical figures we analyze. The bravery of those men was only enhanced and executed because of the women in their life. Noah finished building his arc because of the wife he had. The Bible speaks little of her, but we can assume she was a good wife because Noah finished the job God told him to do.  The job requires muscle pull, but work is very stressful and Noah needed a mental support system as well.

When men go to war to protect their homeland, do you know what is the top priority? Is it to preserve the lovely skyscrapers and bridges? Yes that is part of it, for surely the enemy will reduce the structures into ashes. But the top concern is to protect their women and children who are indeed the foundation of these structures. Women and children will be the most immediate gift to the enemy if they achieve their goal of conquering, not the real estate or resources which takes longer to see the benefits.  (I read a lot of war books.)

Note: take a look at the poorest countries in the world. Then examine the relationship between men and women there. A country’s wealth is determined by the way the women and children are treated. If the men take responsibility or not. If the men abuse the power or not. If the men are present or not.

When women are man’s weakness, all is good for the woman for she has an advantage.

Recently women have subconsciously rejected this gift and subscribed to the notion of “independence”. Only to ask herself why no man loves her? But she rejected love in the pursuit of (at many times unnecessary) labor.

I’ve understood this unspoken power since my father. One look and he gave me anything I wanted. Then as I got older, I applied that logic to the young boys at my school. Let’s just say, Valentine’s Day was never a dull holiday! Moving into the workforce, I would hardly call it work. My experience at all my jobs went well because of the (men) management above me. Who needed a worker’s union when you have a beautiful smile? That was my job security because it certainly wasn’t a worker’s union or my work ethic.

My success is never credited to a woman’s organization.

My success is credited to God, my parents, family and the use of my human mind. (Smiling helped. Bigly.)


Options

To be a professional or not to be? That is the question.

One of the greatest gifts that emerged from the industrial revolution is that women (not men) have an option to join the workforce. If she wants to work 40+ hours then quit her job to world travel, she has that option. If she seeks a part-time job at her hometown to be near her children’s school, she has that option. If she wants to devote herself to a life of a homemaker, there is that option. Underneath all the noise of the world, society will ignore a woman’s (private) decision on this issue more than a man’s decision not to participate in the workforce.

Anyone who attacks these options in the name of the “common good” is not pre-Middle Ages, but pre-language. There is nothing progressive or “new” with the idea of working from sunrise to sunset like an animal without the freedom not too.

The true girl power energy should be directed to being who you truly are. If it truly is a career woman- best of luck to you! But no one should be guilt into doing a line of work, this includes marriage and parenthood. I’ve seen many women tricked, hurt and broken by making bad decisions all because they have listened to what society has told them. If our current wave is taking the woman out of the home or forcing the woman into the kitchen- both can be troublesome and extreme. This is why a balanced lifestyle between structure and freedom to choose should always remain in a civil society.

Meanwhile, those who they took advice from on how to live, never practiced what they preached. Those who attacked marriage were married. Those who attacked money, always had money themselves. (Karl Marx, I’m talking to you.) These are the hypocrites. Then the ones who lack experience want to offer unsolicited advice: childless people writing parenting books or worst- running the board of education. People who have no interest in helping their host country seeks to run public office to (slowly) change the laws. A Spanish Pope rewriting an entire religion because of what he feels.

Once a woman learns to truly love herself. Show kindness. Be polite. Resourceful. Patient. Go through terrible experiences and overcome the tragic events with an optimistic attitude about life. Being thankful. Sincerely enjoy her place in the world. Loving the women in her life before becoming a spokeswoman for the foreign woman. Realizing giving support to the men in her life is helping the women in hers as well. A woman who didn’t fall prey to society’s control hold. She not only becomes more beautiful but inspirational to all.


Honorable mentions of  women throughout history that had their cake and ate it too:

  • Cleopatra’s hold on Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony
  • Josephine’s pull to a young Napoleon who wouldn’t move his troops without her approval
  • Mona Lisa’s smile shows the contrast between reserve and seduction
  • Bathsheba knowing when and where to get the attention from King David- as if accidental
  • Marilyn Monroe’s walk, soft speech and eye contact to get the US President’s approval

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I didn’t marry my best friend. Here’s why:

“Baby, am I your best friend?” I asked my husband. Although I already knew the answer- I needed to hear it from him. After a burst of laughter he coldly answered: “No.” Well. Likewise! But let’s be honest. We often hear people say: “Marry someone who you could laugh with. Travel with. Have fun with.… Continue reading No, I didn’t marry my best friend. Here’s why:

Why I need organized religion

We often hear people say in a smugness manner: “I’m not religious! I’m spiritual.” This must be the correct way of saying: “I have faith but don’t subscribe to a particular faith.” What does that exactly mean? Suppose you applied that logic to money: “I have money but I don’t have cash, assets or available… Continue reading Why I need organized religion

7 interesting facts you didn’t know about the War of Independence

There is so much powerful and interesting aspects about the War of Independence in 1776- deciding which 7 is pretty difficult. The mystical fog that landed on the Hudson River, which helped General Washington to go from Brooklyn across with his troops unseen and unheard into the Manhattan island, is a miracle in itself. This… Continue reading 7 interesting facts you didn’t know about the War of Independence