In life, there are two types of laws we are governed by. There is the one that is passed by man and the other passed by God with both intended to preserve life.
Man passes a law on what age is appropriate for an individual to purchase an alcoholic beverage. A speed limit law. Or stopping at a STOP sign. These types of laws you can easily break without consequence until you get caught of course. The laws passed by man are not all the time used to secure our life and it is why we question the purpose of the decree and even rebel against the manmade law.
Then there are laws from God that are less forgiving. One could be considering jumping off a high-rise building. The law of gravity says: jump off that skyscraper and the impact of the fall will be your last act alive. These God-given laws are designed to avoid injury or death, so we as (sometimes) rational beings religiously observe these laws from God with a sense of urgency and care. Typically speaking, man doesn’t challenge nature when he can see his entire life is on the line. Similar to Odysseus, we realize we’re just a mortal.
But there are blindspots.
This blindspot would be premarital sex. The laws of man say you may “enjoy” yourself and “have sex with any consenting adult.” After all, it’s your life to live. Further, no one should judge you if you decide to behave promiscuously. In fact. They should celebrate it because you’re doing no harm. Now, this common law has several warnings to it: use protection. It’s probably best not to sleep with another man’s wife. You shouldn’t blackmail or film a private event unless approved by the willing participant. You should not engage in sexual activity drunk or impaired mind. Your partner shouldn’t be a minor or of blood relations.
The warning signals continue on. As it grows, it contradicts and becomes meaningless. Are people honestly reading the fine print? I thought this is called “sex with no strings attached?” Oh. That only applies to one-night stands? There are separate rules for that as well? This seems confusing.
And there it is. Confusion is often brewed in lies. Perhaps the culture isn’t promoting great health and life for man after all. Now, what does God say about premarital sex? We all know it’s banned. He said that activity is only reserved between a husband and his wife. But unlike the clear view of consequences of His other natural laws, this one isn’t so clear. (Other unnatural laws include: for us to honor our parents. To save and give 10% of our earnings. Honor the sabbath. But those are topics for another time.)
You may remove or reject God from your life but it’s still His world. His laws. Assuming you did so, doesn’t remove the consequence. When discussing the penalties of outside married sex, here are some quick points: men and women are different. Not just physically but spiritually. Having sex is not equal for men and women. The experience is different and we are unique in this way. However, promiscuous sex is bad for both.
For women: Since birth, she is of high value. Her virginity is the most cherished and sacred hold she has. To carelessly give it away or worst have it taken, is a horrible experience. It is never good for her to sleep with 100 men. If she does, she is a broken woman. Feminism can try its best to remove the guilt and pain she experiences sleeping around but the fact remains no matter how progressive society has become. She understands deep down she devalued herself from gold to massive inflation. The “walk of shame” is a route women should avoid and no one wants to see a young girl they love take that journey. Men and women are different.
For men: Since birth, he is born with potential but that is it. Nothing is given to him easily and if it is, he is not considered a man. He must earn it. It will only be confirmed by other men. In sexual relations, a man is naturally inclined to sleep with as many women as he can. It is not only the culture that encourages him but his body and desires do as well. There is no hiding it. He is aroused, no pun intended. Feminism has been instantly rewarding to men and a quick scam for women. This is easily observed. The truth however is, man and woman are both bamboozled by this social project.
A man having sexual relations with many women is a receiver and she turns into the giver. Have you read great literature lately? I’ve read these phrases often referring to a woman who sleeps with a man that is not her husband: ‘she offers herself to him’ and ‘granting her favors.’ (This is where the term “sexual favors” arises from.) This backwardness agreement is a recipe for brokenness for both parties involved. In reality, women desire to receive men. Just look at the creation of human life for further detail. The man is called to be proactive, producer, provider, protector, and when he refuses to accept his duty, he is hurting his masculinity which is his being. He lacks self-control and devalues women. He becomes lonely, unloved, angry and realizes the only one to blame for his life choices is the man looking in the mirror.
If not, then explain why do men still pay for prostitution when we had the sexual revolution? Surely that line of work should be bankrupt. It’s because some men are aware that sleeping with a prostitute removes the feminine feeling of being a receiver. She offers her service, he pays her to leave. This arrangement (which I am strongly against it) makes more sense than the sexual revolution itself because in life there is no such thing as a free lunch. It also indicates man’s yearning to give. If he suppresses this desire to give, he is destroying himself.
The law on premarital sex may seem outdated. Even impossible to uphold. But if you want to find the root problem of most of our troubles in our society, it could be found in the sexual relations between man and woman. I’ve once read the best feeling in the world for a man is to make love to his wife. Why take that experience away? After all. The lawgiver states: you only have one life to live.
No man will work for your interest unless they are his
David Seabury
The quote above tells how the entire world works. However, America has executed this truth in a unique way. Which its result caused an abundance of wealth, leadership and security.
Being selfish has always been seen as a negative thing.
In the East, it’s every man for his own. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours… maybe.
Unless you are someone who appears to have wealth, a tourist (or if you’re dealing with a seriously religious person)- the world is not a fan of generosity. They must think of themselves and then close relatives in order to survive.
The West, particularly America, on the other hand, has a different motto which separates itself from the rest of the world.
Whether in a large scale such as America getting involved in foreign wars: a selfish motive unless it’s a direct attack or to prevent one, for the citizens of the United States.
How about on a smaller scale such as the individual: one investing on his own needs before doing favors for others- also may seem selfish.
The way America has handled foreign policy to a personal citizen’s choice, has overall been a step to the right direction.
America conducts itself differently
To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means to preserving peace
George Washington Jan. 8th 1790 First annual message to congress
The 5 Star general military expert and America’s first president was aware that if potential enemies know that America is ready for war, with weapons and training, then enemies will not even flirt with the idea to commit aggression against the United States.
This thinking from our nation’s beloved first president still holds truth today. Washington is not only talking about a well–formed army (which many countries already have) but its citizens also to be armed and disciplined.
Another popular idea of many countries is foreign involvement. Mostly for real estate, power and control reasons. America is different from this policy as well. Washington tells America to avoid being dragged into overseas conflict:
It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliance with any portion of the foreign world…. are essentially foreign to our concerns…. America’s detached and distant situation… [should be an easier avoidant into warfare.]
George Washington
Washington made it clear if a nation which “indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave’– it gets distracted and suspends its only duty of pursuing its own true interest.
Two easy ways the American can avoid meddling into foreign affairs: our values are different. Our geographical location, separated from the world by two large oceans also represents something deeper. It brings us back to our first point of having different ideas of a nation.
Although the wisdom of Washington cannot be stressed more, Americans have recently abandoned their leader’s advice and joined the activities of the world. After WW2, the NATO agreement offered very little for the American but gave much American money and man power for Europe.
America is able to do good while being the first to respond to tragedies; both domestically and internationally because America focused on itself for many years. America also set the bar high for human achievement and became a world influence by setting an upright example in practice that the world wishes to mimic.
Should the individual be selfish to eventually become generous?
Well, how else can one offer something if he doesn’t have the means to offer?
Just because someone is willing to do something doesn’t mean much if he isn’t ready to provide it.
Similar to Washington’s advice to prepare for warfare- even if you’re not going to war, one must be ready to back up the talk to avoid the fight. Now, how can he prepare himself if he has no weapons? No training? No right to bare arms?
At an early stage of the nation or individual, these values must be taught. It is also better to learn skills and have training young in order to make life much more easier for the long run.
If your noble goal is to serve your community (and profit comes second or none)- God bless you for your rare motive! This too was the pilgrims’ desire: to create God’s kingdom on earth. Gold came second or not even important. However, the pilgrims still had to offer something uniquely different from the world. Their knowledge of scriptures and carrying it out daily, took a massive commitment to lifetime training and dedication.
If the goal was to, for example, teach reading for people can read the Bible, (many people all over the world were illiterate)- then first the teacher needed to know how to read for himself. At one point in his life, this teacher spent hours learning how to read, and then to understand the Bible. Only after this is he able to teach others.
People will listen to those who understand and practices his work- not to someone who speaks like a blabbering pagan.
Suppose your main goal is profit. Honestly, profit is the best goal. While I agree with the pilgrims’ religious teachings, I would certainly disagree with the Marxist teachings. Had a Marxist came off the Mayflower, free or pay- I am not interested in a Marxist utopian idea. You might not be interested in the Bible. But money is the proof of hard work and free exchange for all ideas. This is where a Marxist and religious person can shake hands in a transaction.
In order to do so, one party must have previously invested his time to create and develop his service or product. It might have seemed selfish when he started his mission, but the community eventually benefited through his sacrifice of immediate pleasure for a long term goal of uncertain wealth.
On the flip side, the consumer must have earned his wealth elsewhere in order to purchase the innovator’s product. The consumer himself is an investor: both in the product and how he obtains his wealth to even make this transaction.
Another motivation is love.
Have you seen anyone more selfish than a 15-year-old boy? Everything is certainly about him. But introduce a beautiful girl, now the young boy has the interest to suddenly become a highly skilled electrician to purchase this girl the best flowers he can.
No matter for the greater good, profit or love- one must develop himself in order to be generous. This requires disciple, structure, sacrifice, practice, training and even isolation in order to achieve greatness.
The time when the act of selfishness must be suspended
Is there a time or situation when being selfish must be avoided?
Yes.
In relationships: Marriage. As individuals with parents. As parents with children. There is no room for your selfish ways at this moment.
One thing I’ve notice reading Ayn Rand books is that there are no children in them. Also translating to, no future.
There must be a future. A purpose in order to have a meaningful life.
When you’re in a relationship, it‘s a two way street. You might not want to visit grandma and watch watch her play crossword puzzles with an old neighbor named Sally. But as her grandchild, you know you’re obligated to do so every Sunday afternoon.
Although it’s only one day of the week she sees you, you’re the reason why she gets out of bed each day. She looks forward to your Sunday visits starting when you leave Sunday evening. Even if they are spent in silence, your presence alone shows you care.
After you leave your weekly visit, you have a sense of worth. You not only committed to family but you begin to think: I won’t be alone either when I’m her age.
This works the opposite: be generous (with your time, something that requires zero training). You’ll experience by doing so, you’re actually gaining self-control. Honoring your word. Patience. Human interaction. So much more virtues that you can take with you into the workforce and in romace.
You’ll eventually have the same treatment in return. Even if there is nothing to gain other than your smile. Remember, like money, people are attracted to good energy. Something you have unknowligly developed through your Sunday visits with grandma.
The same works with gift giving. This has been practiced in every culture for thousands of years.
You’re giving not because the Bible says so, your parents or even society told you too. You’re giving because you want too. Again, invest in yourself for you can experience this joy at anytime.
What is the hidden exchange with gift giving?
First, the person you’re giving too must accept your gift. Their smile, joy, and suspense are worth the giving. This brings a sensation to you of accomplishment.
You were not only thanked, but for a moment you were seen. Heard. Even within love, there is a trade-off.
The trade off is not material, but more of a spiritual one.
This is one, which is love, is the best deal made.
We are constantly reminded how much the God of The Bible loves men. Just not love, but favors and prefers men.
While this might be true in a communist society, it isn’t true with God.
Yes. Men are stronger. Men’s performance in both good and evil is highly extreme. Men’s recovery time is a lot faster than a woman’s recovery time. Let’s face it: if men are invited to join women sports, there will be no women sports.
Men who decide to do good, excel to great heights. When men are not tamed, they have capabilities and desires to destroy cities. Women uncivilized? Perhaps beeping through scanners at a local Walmart with stolen goods in her purse.
Yes. The Bible mentions men more. God has a (higher? Well, not quite.) different and yes- harder expectations for men. Even if we remove the religious aspects, (which seems to confirm the others) and focus on other aspects: women’s biology, the record of direct contribution to building, warfare, intellect, emotions, and rationality- explains in plain sight there are major differences between the sexes. Giving, what may appear, men the upper hand.
These truths may be hurtful to many insecure women. If you season this feeling of victimhood with a woman who hasn’t experienced love from a man, you have a broken woman.
Cheer up.
One of the many reasons why the Lord is great is because He isn’t of this world. He isn’t a false god. He is the true God with radical ideas, foreign to our limited thinking. A God who is just? Forgiving with a sense of humor? A God who isn’t envious of man? A God who loves His creation?
A God who declares man is His favorite creation?
A God who would die in order to remarry His creation?
He loves man
The Lord created man before woman. The proof is there: the Lord didn’t think it is necessary to have women!
But quite the contrary.
According to the order of Creation, the Lord created many things before man. Does this hold true for light? For vegetable? For animal? No! We all know man is on top of the food chain.
Clearly, the Lord made the most complex and saved the best for last! Man finds his purpose in serving one woman. He needs a love from a woman. First his mother. Then wife and daughter. A woman holds a special place in a man’s heart.
Being the Lord loves man, He loves the woman who motivates him. That gives him worth. The one thing that separates man from his savage species is his family.
A woman civilizes a man via marriage. You see, God created a world intended for women and men to help each other. When we simply obey His word (which is difficult but possible) it makes life more pleasurable and a lot easier.
Of course, God smiles on this and blesses women. If women are blessed with good men, men and children will be forever happy. Which will radiate into the country…
Countries who mistreat women and children are poor
Take a look around the world. Do you know which countries are wealthy? Are headed towards prosperity?
Part of what made America great is its record for being the first country to value women. Mixed that with the religion and English language: Boom! You have a wealthy country with automobiles!
It was the West that came up with this tradition: women and children first. It’s no wonder the West has the best living status in the history of the world. Even if it is fading away, the truth is there. The truth is proven through time. Time shows that when men are responsible with supporting women by their side, life becomes much better for both parties.
Countries who mistreat their women and children are poor. While the men party, hold no responsibility for their actions and die young– it brings great agony to his legacy, parents and country.
Clearly, God doesn’t have patience for this behavior. The proof is in the suffering.
God hears prayer
Negative behavior is given. No one has to teach you how to get fat, it comes naturally. But to build muscle? Strict eating habits and training- there is so much data and knowledge to be learned.
Therefore, men behaved naturally sexually inappropriate. God heard the cries of the women. In the Bible, the Lord lays down the law on how men should conduct themselves with their bodies. Who he can sleep with. What his seed is designed to do.
There was a great uproar from men: does the Lord punish us? What with all these restrictions, we will no longer have a sex life!
The idea of marrying one woman. To love, protect and provide for her was a radical idea. (Today, it is still seen radical.) However, time showed it works.
Marriage is easily seen to benefit the woman almost immediately. But for a man? It takes time. Years even! (Similar to childhood with sons and daughters!)
He begins to notice that living as single man by a certain age is no good for him. The best investment he made was marrying a good woman who gave him children. He has wealth only if he has a backing. His backing is his wife and children.
Once a desire to be forever young and foolish is no longer attractive. The lifestyle brings you into dark, lonely times while feeling meaningless.
Single men with no children are much poorer than a married man with children. In fact, a single man with no children is more poor than a single woman with children!
After Christianity became the main religion in Europe, the Church also heard the cries from the widows, wives, and daughters. Their men were not around. When men were encouraged to seek marriage, stay married and be a father- parts of Europe lighten up.
The status of a man went high because of his commitment to his family.
Men finally received the need and love of a woman that they so badly needed. Women received the wanting and security of a man that they so badly needed. After this marriage agreement, wealth was just around the corner.
Let my people go, for they may go worship the Lord
Recently, I read in the book of Exodus about Moses going to Pharaoh requesting him to set his people free.
Two new ideas were conceive as I read this story for the 1,000th time:
When you pray to God, tell Him why.
When Moses goes to Pharaoh in the book of Exodus, he delivers the message of the Lord:
“Let my people go, so that they may worship me.”
Exodus 10:3
Often we hear a preacher misquote Moses. They don’t follow up with the rest of the request; “so that they may worship me.”
When you are in prayer, tell God why you are requesting something. Do it over and over again. Let it be meaningful.
The second light bulb that went on while reading this story, is this:
God wanted the women and children.
What?!
Did you know Pharaoh already have permitted Moses to take his people and go worship? The men that is…
Pharaoh said, “the Lord be with you– if I let you go, along with your women and children! Clearly you are bent on evil. No! Have only the men go and worship the Lord,”
Exodus 10:10
The immediate follow up was the plague in Egypt.
It is natural to give men only these rights. You see it today throughout Asia and the Middle East. But God is supernatural. He wanted all: the men, women, children, animals and their belongings.
He leaves no one behind.
After I discovered this, I went for a drive. Thinking about how good God is. He is a God who is just and loves His creation. The lies of the world can be seductive. They often are accepted because it makes excuses to be lazy so much better.
The common lie of a communist is: There is no God! And if there were, he doesn’t love women! Look at the treatment from men. Look at your bodies and brain size. Clearly, you’re weak! Embrace the new being: a godless world citizen who rejects the individual and works for the community. There is your purpose!
How depressing! My heart breaks for those who purchased this lie and spent their life in this manner.
For men, the message is similar with a twist: they tell young men that women who seek marriage are gold diggers! Lazy! Stupid! A real man sleeps around with no strings attached. A real man doesn’t support his country. A real man doesn’t enlist in the army to fight bankers wars! A real man finds power through crime, bonds through with a brotherhood of thugs and takes what was originally his!
If only the message was this blunt. But if you really listen carefully to the public speaker- he admits this.
Well, I got great news for you: God does love you and He wants you to earn your living. You have great expectations. Disregard the lies of the world that is naturally pulling in a negative direction. Fight against it towards the light.
Useful idiots: I always knew people, in general, are followers. Have a strong desire to be accepted and liked. Most people read the headlines and not the article itself. They heard of past events but don’t know history itself. Listen to the D.J. on the radio rather than hearing directly from the person the D.J. is falsely speaking about. In life, people want to generally inhert rewards without the struggle. Body without diet. Wedding but neglect the marriage contract. In short, most people are lazy, uninformed and want to be liked. These types are the easiest to trick. If the trend is patriotism, they will follow. If the trend is fascism, they will march.
Self-proclaimed intellectuals: Behind the scenes stirring the pot, you have the group who viciously hates President Trump’s ideas, what he represents and the type of people he represents. It could’ve been any outspoken freedom lover, these snobbish cowards will always hate and provide the funding for the hate.
The Base: These Americans are the core of highbrow hate. The Base prevents their utopia. President Trump’s loyal supporters who (like him) dislike being told what to do. These people are the least likely to be persuaded to surrender their values for instant pleasure, a false sense of security or even to be liked for the moment. As we learned earlier, being “liked” is only for a season.
Hate and love relationship: Hello Ben Shapiro. Glenn Beck. And others who made an incorrect assessment of the Billionaire due to his language rather than what he actually accomplished in life. These Americans rather someone with a much cleaner lifestyle. Both professionally and in private. While that is an honorable standard, it’s also disconnected with our times. After having Obama in the W.H.- we as Americans desired someone who is not only politically incorrect but not even polite and very patriotic above all. Although they misread their prophecy of Trump, these individuals came around and eventually supported the President. (Throw Ann Coulter in there as well. Hopefully, after Ann gets a man, she’ll become rational again.)
RINO’s on Donkeys: But how about the informed, considered “patriots” who never have and never will, support Trump? This group is very interesting. They are my main focus within this post.
The Bush family spent their entire lives fighting against liberal policies. This family loves America. Some might argue they made poor choices, benefited personally at the cost of the American and were involved in really corrupt dealings that were dangerous to our mere existence as a Republic.
For the sake of time, let’s just play devil’s advocate and call them “patriots.” This is said with a lower case “p” – since it was the Patriots, not social justice warriors, who put them into office.
Before Barbara Bush passed away, she written a letter to each member in her family asking them not to vote for Donald Trump. This would be the first time the Bush family didn’t support a Republican nominee. Why?
Why would you tell your children and grandchildren not to support the Republican nominee? Instead, for them to suspend their values and vote for Crooked H? Why will you make that dangerous gamble that will not just hurt your country, but your family directly?
Were she upset over Trump bullying her baby son? As a mother who absolutely loves her baby boy, I totally get it. My judgment will be clouded with Mama Bear Rage and I wouldn’t like him either. However, after the steamed cooled down (and perhaps I personally held a grudge Forever!) wouldn’t ANYONE in my direct reach, reason with the idea: Trump is the best option?
Well. Clearly there is more reason behind a mother’s protection over her son. If the entire Bush family agreed to this, there is more behind it.
One thing I easily observe is the fact that when outsider Trump gets elected, these people will not be needed. All the RINOs (Republican In Name Only) in America will become irrelevant. Their advice won’t be taken. President Trump would (and has) made these people feel useless. The worst feeling ever.
The bullying. The feeling of not being needed. Is that all it took for you to surrender your core belief system?
The Bible teaches us about this odd behavior.
We turn to Abraham.
“And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.”
Genesis 22:2 KJV
Abraham had another son already, Ishmael. Why did the Lord say and empathized- thine only son Isaac? It’s because Abraham is married to Isaac’s mother.
In Hebrew, the term only son means yachid. If translated directly, it means “darling” when referring to life itself, so valuable. Even meaning “desolate”- emphasizing the fact that people can feel utterly alone at times.
“And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son…”
Genesis 22:3 KJV
Now, remember. Abraham is a wealthy man. Also very old. Why did he saddle his own donkey? Why did he labor? He had young men available to do it. Yet he chose to do it himself…..
Now we quickly turn to a wicked man named Balaam, who is also wealthy but has different desires: killing the children of Israel.
“And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.”
Numbers 22:21 KJV
Both men are wealthy, yet they both did their own labor. Each had different attitudes towards this. Abraham, did his duty but dreaded it. Balaam did his duty, with great pleasure.
What the scriptures show is: love and hate distort a man’s thinking. Strong emotion overrides rational thinking. Abraham’s love for the Lord made him obey his (difficult) order. Balaam’s hatred urged him to wake up early and get to work himself.
Having logic and reason, it makes sense to support the current president- Donald Trump. It’s in your interest! But with personal hatred? It messes with your thinking. RINOs are not the only ones who are guilty of this.
No good can come from making an important decision when emotions are high.
Activity: try to think about a time where you made an important life-changing decision based on emotions. Intentions. Your heart. Write about it. How did it turn out in the long run? What can you do to repair and avoid repeating?
They look so gorgeous. In love. And wealthy. As for you, you’re… well, you’re you. How could you not be slightly envious? Or more difficult, how can you be happy for someone else success when you secretly aren’t because it’s a reminder that you yourself is a failure?
You’re only a failure because you think and speak it. When a person is envious it just means they settled in life. They compromised. They didn’t keep on working (for whatever excuse one might have). In the end, they gave up and regret it.
No need to spend your life in this manner.
I’ve read many books of people restarting their life and successfully moving on to accomplishment. One story I will never forget is about a 52-year-old military history writer. He loved warfare: the strategies, uniforms, discipline, rules of engagement, and weapons. Such a brilliant and passionate man, but he had one problem:
No one actually listened to him because he never served in the military. On top of that, he found himself growing intensely envious of the glory the war leaders received from the troops. The power. The action. The respect. The love from his army. ARGH!
This writer did something incredible to put in an end to this negative emotion, at the age of 55 years old he enlisted into the army. He rose through the ranks rapidly. He became a celebrated hero in his country. Futhermore, he became ruler of his country. Action, not paper- with this he finally gains his life dream and respect which he earned.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
― Henry Ford
There is always a hunger for great talent and skills in the marketplace. Especially in a forgiving home as America or within a religion like Christianity. While there are truths that both the Bible and our personal experience can confirm, some life decisions we made a while ago have very long consequences. Some may range for a few weeks. Others can be a punishment that can last years or even cost us our own life. (This is why one must be both book and street smart.)
Nevertheless, we will work with what is unfairly dealt to us in life or what foolish decisions we brought to ourselves. We are here to live. To fulfill, even what might seem like a minor goal such as obtaining your driver’s license. It’s your life. The desire is still lurking because the envy, the longing is there. It’s not over unless you say it is.
Here are 4 truths on why there is no need to envy:
4. True fulfillment and joy in life doesn’t need an explanation
I see this mistake in so many people I speak with. You’ve probably heard (or have said) similar things such as:
“I’m glad I didn’t enlist in the army! Heck, I’m not fighting a bankers war! I’m no sucker! I’m completely happy they didn’t get me!” But if you further the conservation with this type, as I do, they will quickly expose their regret. I say, “But you’re a patriot bro! My goodness, the honor. The respect. The skills they teach. Travel and guns! Plus you get paid? That sounds like a sweet deal, not a scam.”
The look of guilt flushes their face, then the sad confession kicks in: “But I missed my opportunity…”
Another infamous one I hear is from childless people. “Kids? Ha! I’m extremely happy without brats! They’re expensive. They are an inconvenience! They’re annoying. I’m completely living it up.”
Then, like the dodger, I get this people as well.
“I can’t believe that. You would’ve made an excellent father! Oh man, not to mention how gorgeous your children would’ve been. Sad you’re keeping your seed to yourself, the world is missing out! Plus, they come in handy for retirement buddy! Well, I know you’re a great uncle, so I cannot accept your discontent in children. Come over for Thanksgiving to my house.”
The look on their face is priceless. Truth for this is, mostly this person hasn’t “found” a committed person to marry and trust. Or they are completely focused with their career (this is for women), missing out an opportunity to become a parent.
If an indvidual is truly content with their choices in life, there is no need to randomly explain yourself. Certainly no need to put down the other people who decided to enlist in the army or have a family.
From what I hear, it gets cold when you’re older. You need your memories (like the army stories or whatever you passed up) and grandchildren to warm you.
Reconfirming to others that you didn’t need these investments, doesn’t confirm it and you’re only speaking to yourself. In fact, this unneeded explanation has the opposite effect: it shows you want it and regretting you didn’t commit to it.
People like this aren’t as thrilled with their life as they say. No need to envy the explainer AKA the complainer.
3. Fake news is also attention seeking news: grass isn’t always greener on the other side
Long before social media envy of strangers, there was a more face to face envy. Hence the saying “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” (Showing human nature hasn’t changed.) It is still common to be envious over a family member you see often, a neighbor or a co-worker. THIS short article shows that money doesn’t buy happiness. It must come from within.
When people broadcast their happy life, understand two things first:
They are only showing the happiest moments in their life. Even if it seems to be everyday ‘happiness’, people are public performers. Read their shallow captions for further detail.
True happiness doesn’t have time to document it live. Therefore, they aren’t enjoying the moment. Do photographers have a blast at a wedding? They are too busy working. Selfie takers are also working and ignoring what could be a fun time. Their mind is on a perfect pic, edit, upload and sit back to see the likes.
Don’t get me wrong. I will snap a photo of the Grand Canyon while I’m on a visit. Will be hesitant to share my glory on social media. But for sure, I won’t make a documentary on my trip to the Grand Canyon unless I’m working for the History Channel. I want to enjoy the time, let the memory sit while respecting my company.
If you notice there is someone who is constantly seeking online attention with their ‘amazing’ life- then simply unfollow. What a great relief it brings. If this person doesn’t offer anything but an online diary that you cannot gain from, they serve no purpose.
Many people fool themselves into saying, “I’m inspiring the world! Come join my pointless journey of finding myself (which I never do) and be inspired!”
Inspiration comes from the struggling silent. No need to envy this empty goof.
[Bringing back my celebrity couple who appear to have it all: looks, money, and love. Traveling to Switzerland while I’m stuck at work, raising kids and letting the best years of my life fly by. Or am I? Don’t read too much into it. What I have noticed with these flashy people is something radical occurs in most of their lives: when they reach to their 40s, their looks are non-human. They are divorced. Broke. And having interviews about how unhappy they were in that marriage- conflicting their wonderful fun pictures of the past.
By the time I’m in my 40s, all my children are adults. In fact, one will graduate college and I will still be in my 30s! So prepare the Eastern European skies. When my time of child raising is over, I’ll be sexy in Switzerland drinking a cup of hot chocolate with my family!]
2. You can still achieve in life at anything you set your mind to
What a controversy statement to make nowadays!
It’s because it’s true. Lies seem to be accepted as “your truth” rather than the one and only truth.
While you don’t need to follow the clueless people who go through life with drama and no purpose- you can gain inspiration from the humble earner results. How can you find these types?
If you desire to have a family, go read about those who have long marriages and successful children. What’s their “secret?” Don’t follow a “family” like the Kardashians.
If you decide more wealth, follow the quiet self-made earner. Not only will you learn more about money, but you’ll learn about character. They are eager to teach those who want to learn and practice their ways.
Focus on yourself and get to work. After you found your humble mentor for encouragement and reminders: it can be done. They did it, so can you. They are not super-human. It is available to all. I don’t care about the ‘white privilege’ lie. Many whites struggle, suffer and die a failure. Just like anyone else who made bad choices. (Telling young white straight boys, in particular, is a psychological trick to actually create a sense of supreme from doing nothing which hinders their growth while telling other groups ‘you don’t have a chance.’ Bad all around.) The only advantage is being born rich and having married parents.
So, if you don’t have this real type of advantage, get busy. Lay out a plan and with deadlines. Get organized and find ways to achieve each point. It may seem far away- but that is why it’s called an investment. Short-time easy goals (like buying an expensive burger) excitement quickly comes to a halt when you realize you need bus fare. Don’t focus at how far the last chapter is yet. You already know there is 35, just start with the first. (They say it takes 7-10 years to master a skill. Get going!)
Pretty soon with your sacrifice, you will realize how fast time has gone by. Your goal will be achieved with your back against the wall fighting each step. It is earned slowly and less likely to die off quickly. Similar to earning your own money rather than being given money for no reason.
The great feeling of a smart sacrifice pays off at the end.
Life is about sacrifice.
Choose wisely.
Side note: A few years back, I created a vision poster board which I encourage you to do. On it I had cut and paste images from magazines onto this board. Images of things I wanted. Some were simple. Others were more difficult to obtain. And one needed a miracle. Here what was on the board:
A slow cooker. A ninja blender. A fancy washer and dryer- yes the ones that cost thousands of US dollars. A bodybuilder’s body. Travel around America on a road trip. A BMW. A house on the mountains like you see in a car commercial. A happy family with a husband and four children. Two girls and two boys.
The miracle (somewhat out of my control) is the family one. Would you believe I’m on track for that one? The Lord blesses me! At the time I was legally married with two daughters. My son came and I would like another son someday. The house in snowy North Dakota will be achieved if I want. All others have been fulfilled. I cried when I located this poster board recently.
Your goals and aspirations are between you and God- through Him all things are possible
As difficult as it may be, shut off the noise. Shut off the distractions. If it doesn’t aim towards your goal should you allow any of your energy to have it? Get rid of self-doubt. The negative scene, people or potatoe chips. Re-set your mindset.
Who will stop you if the Lord is with you? When David from the Bible kept on having incredible success on the battlefield, King Saul asked: “How?”
“The Lord is with me.” He answered.
The Lord will be with you too. If you allow Him. He hasn’t abandoned you. He desires greatness from you- and expects it. There is no need to stress or be envious with what you do not have. As long as you use honest methods. Start building, remain consistent, learn, grow and focused, you will get what your heart desires.
Advice: keep it to yourself. You’re only an inspiration after you achieve. Some might suggest to let the world know of your goals because you’re most likely to follow through. Well, how has that worked out for the online braggers? Instead, share with a few loved ones who are close to you. They will be watching. Even they are skeptical and still need to see results so you will have to follow through with that personal audience watching.
I depart with these two verses:
Psalm 37:44Take delight in the LORD, and he willgiveyou the desires of your heart. Psalm 20:44May he giveyou the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
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