But if soulmates did exist, I could tell you where to find yours.
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. – Corrie ten Bloom It’s not an epidemic. It’s a pandemic! If you listen or read the news all day, one might go insane. You might assume the news thrives off from misery and could careless for finding solutions or a… Continue reading 6 tips for tough times
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.Swedish Proverb
We should aim for every day, but we’ll start slow.
Why do many people worry so much? Surprisingly, with such an advanced society we live in today, more people seem to struggle with inner thoughts of negative thinking and battling with anxiety day by day.
We don’t have to struggle with the many hardships of our previous generations. Dying in warfare (men) or in childbirth (women) has drastically declined. Living past the age of 50 is more than reachable. Going to bed in pure hunger is almost unheard of. Water systems, transportation, medical discoveries, and technology have helped advance humanity. It also contributed to reducing human suffering, time wasted and overall brought more convenience to man’s living standards. Thank a capitalist 🙂
Are we just a bunch of complainers? Or is there a real justifiable reason to worry? Sure there is the daily stress of “how am I going to pay rent this month?” Or “One more write up at work, and I’m out in the streets!”
But these common inconveniences in life can be found in almost all persons. My goal is to show you how some refuse to let these worries take over their lives while offering you ways to eliminate unnecessary negative thinking.
There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.Harold Stephen
Ever met a person who complained so much that it ruined a possible great time? A dark cloud just hovering over you. It’s as if they aren’t satisfied unless everyone is in a bad mood. The kicker here? Most of them play victim after being the prime mover behind the scenes.
I heard of a man named “Joe” who used to come into work very angry in the morning. He complained and moaned about everything: his disastrous wake from sleep. A stale breakfast. A horrible commute to work. His workaholic wife. But when Joe drank his morning Joe (lol), he became a much kinder man.
It’s too late. The damage is done, and the atmosphere is set. His misery worked like a poisonous agent into the air and destroyed his coworkers’ mood. Joe turns around and boldly wonders “what is wrong with these people?”
Don’t be a Joe. It is evil and selfish.
Or how about the “realistic” (negative) thinker? This person always has a complaint but no insurance. In other words, they offer no help in case their bright (negative) idea happens. Yes, we understand an outdoor wedding might be subject to get rained on. Or it might be hot that day with bugs. However, we already have a ‘Plan B’ venue in case it does. Thank you for your “concern” Aunt Sally. (Aunt Sally never did offer a solution or even help with the wedding planning. She is only being realistic, or should I say, bringing in stress.)
The people who generally overstress about issues that they cannot change, and the problems that they CAN change- they still worry about, are difficult to come to terms with. It seems at this point they enjoy the stress.
If you admittedly do enjoy the stress because it offers some type of “adventure” for you, then carry on. For those who acknowledge this as a hurdle (negative thinking) to enjoying life, and seek to make changes to shift in the right direction, here are some tools you should bring with you:
- Negative thinking is common, in fact it is normal
You’ll be surprised how much we all have in common. But what separates us is how we respond to life crises. What I observed is, those who stress more about a problem (or worst- a potential problem) always seem to attract negative things to them. The more “unlucky” they see themselves, the more unfortunate events will come.
The universe is designed to “drag us down.” Anything that is built, maintain and lasting requires energy. This means one must be “unnatural”- go against the world, to be happy! Life can be depressing. But did you know there is a command from the Lord to be happy? Yes, there is. And if there is a command to do so, it just further explains that the order didn’t come naturally to us humans. We had to be instructed.
And you and the Levites and the aliens amoung you shall rejoice in all the good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household.Deuteronomy 26:11
When you’re being pulled by negative forces, (a person or simply your thoughts), it is to your natural default. The point of this is to build character when you’re striving for good. Nothing in this world is free.
- What to avoid when seeking peace
Because you did not serve the Lord your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the Lord sends against you.Deuteronomy 28:47-48
Does watching a comedy or any other form of entertainment seem to work? Perhaps temporarily but it isn’t the antidote for the worrisome. How about an online vent? You know, letting the world know that you’re in distress? Nope. Most don’t care about your problems and the few who do are glad you have them. Surely, therapy or a mind doctor will do the trick?
Yes. A 24-year-old college graduate with no life experience, parties on the weekend while finding herself and then goes home to a cat will get you through any of your life problems. How about the good ol’ bottle to relieve your worries? Alcohol is another temporary fix yet feels needed at the moment to relax those inner thoughts. It’s no wonder in Latin, alcohol is commonly known as Spirits— because it is your spirit that seems to be thirsty.
Well, I have the quenching tools for you.
I don’t subscribe to any of this. And if you want to become more at peace with yourself, I will offer you unheard, unpopular yet workable outlets that I personally follow.
To recap, avoid:
Amusement, entertainment, therapy, buyers’ remorse, gossip, people with different lifestyles/goals, medications, alcohol and of course- drugs and promiscuous sex. These common “solutions” won’t fix your anxiety, instead, it might even be counterproductive.
Most likely you tried all these “expert outlets.” I’m shocked, absolutely bewildered these mainstream methods to peace didn’t help!
Ready to try something new?
- What to do to free your mind
It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”Eleanor Roosevelt
Life will never disappoint us: there are challenges for everyone. If you’re willing to put an end, or at the very least, curb on this ‘end of the world’ thinking (which leads to behavior) for you can enjoy life’s blessings, try these simple tasks I do religiously. Build a structure. Make it into a routine.
Prayer- a private conversation with the creator of the universe. No evil thoughts. No judgment. Just a God who loves you and is there for you.
Make your bed- this will bring a sense of accomplishment to start the day, and to come home to a clean bed.. who can complain about that?
Eating a healthy balanced diet- you are what you eat! This can be fun as you start to create and commit to a new eating routine. Rid the junk and replace it with fresh foods. You will be amazed by how this affects your thinking… positively of course.
Wash your face twice a day and keep yourself well-groomed- again, another step towards a better you with better thoughts ahead. Hello handsome!
Exercise- this is super important. Not only for your physical health but for your mental. Find a gym and commit at least 3 days a week in there. Don’t make outrageous commitments. Start small. Your thoughts will turn from darkness to hopeful after every great workout.
Read and write- daily. This is your private vent. Your creativity. Your time to listen (when you read, you’re listening) and try to write down 3 goals for your day. When you accomplish it, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Another activity to look forward to: write down 5 tally marks in your daily entry. Each to represent something kind you did or said to someone that day.
Work- to avoid feeling useless and hopeless, what better outlet is there to get a job? Someone to pay you for your service. Unhappy or underpaid currently? Get a new job baby! This is the free market. No chains to bind you. You are free to move. Apply. Apply. Reply. (Denied.) Apply. Reply. Accept!
Speak when you need to- a time to speak, a time to zip it! When you do speak, it is almost like a published work. You cannot take it back fully if you misspoke. So be careful and mindful. Try to also speak with an “inside voice” when communicating. Expand your vocabulary. (You have been reading, haven’t you?) You expand on this, your thoughts will run wild.
People- surround yourself with loving people. People with similar goals and lifestyles. Family is also very important. Even if you have just one person. Love that person, service, use kinder words and watch your life become happier.
What are you waiting for? Peaceful thoughts await!
For man, the universe is already defaulted to pull back. Destruction is an easy and natural thing. Creation requires energy, intelligence, and even bravery. However, if one looks further, the universe actually operates beautifully in order.
Where I come from, you weren’t supposed to be a conservative. Everyone around me supported the welfare state- even those in the workforce. It didn’t matter if one was in corporate, a college graduate to a high school drop out, religious or secular- they all agreed on one thing: how to vote. By using your heart (although many were heartless) and vote for the Democrat Party.
As a child, the elderly would call me: disrespectful. Outspoken. Rebellious. But to this day, I never disrespect the elderly. So why was I called these things? Simply because I think.
Once when I was young, I went with my mother to go vote. I asked, “Which one are we? Democrat or Republican?”
She answered, “We are Democrats.”
“Okay. Why?” I asked.
“Because we aren’t rich.”
Discontent with that answer, I replied: “Well, then. I want to be rich, so I’ll be a Republican.”
Immediately she stopped walking and we looked at each other. The look on her face resembled of a CNN anchor. This must be the ‘disrespectful speech’
Many of these examples I have. In my youth, I tended to crash with most people due to the difference in worldviews. I believe man is born evil but can strive to become great- if he chooses. (Not a common view.) Many believe he is born good with society corrupting him and could never become the noble savage again. (Sad!)
As a young child, I always knew what I wanted in life. I always had a sense of what is good and what is evil. Most things taught to me (at home, school, and church) always seem to contradict. Is life this confusing? Furthermore, I noticed those who claim to be intellectuals were saying the same exact thing as an illiterate street bum. The self-proclaimed intellects differ with wording it more eloquently and offering a reason for their behavior.
Once understood that I actually grew up under these socialist policies and people- I needed to hear the other side.
The obstacle one takes when wanting just to hear the other side is a big step. But what required next is bravery: to leave the socialist state, its false promises and subjects for something which offered no security, uncertainty, unpredictable but full freedom.
There were two types of women from where I come from: the job-driven woman and the welfare woman. Both in common they had were miserable lives. There has to be a third option.
Yes! The woman I read about in books and witness from afar. The one the Bible speaks about. The woman who becomes a wife and stays home with her children. She has a husband, home, privacy and labor seemed to be 1000% less. More beautiful, free and safe. It’s even romantic: just her and her husband.
All this I gathered on my own. It still amazes me that a young girl from Spanish Harlem can actually break the chains of statistics, overcome the sweet whispers of a false ‘independent woman’ status and the seduction of marriage to the state- without any support other than my faith in God, my husband, and my mind.
This is what motivated me personally. I wanted to be a wife and mother. I also wanted the ability to earn as much or little as I please. After I figured that out, everything else made sense- without the contradictions. I had to start a new life. I had to leave the socialism I was born into.
*Understand the term conservative. I do not wish to conserve the state but to conserve the idea of what made the American great and the Bill of Rights.
Here are the 4 reasons why I’m a conservative:
1. Profit is a good thing
When I heard cheers from my environment, celebrating being “broke” and “poor” I knew it didn’t sound right. Are you poor in nutrition? Low in protein? Then you might be poor. But it is the animal who is forever poor. Humans, particularity Americans, can change their situation. Never say you’re poor.
People should work- especially men. Being rewarded with cash for your services and/or goods is proof that someone needs you. It’s proof that you are not just helping yourself, but you’re helping others. You are seen. You are heard.
Work also provides communication skills, growth, patience, practice, time management, self-control, financial freedom and self-respect among many other things.
The alternative to earning money is a gun: theft and death. I’m strongly against the utopian lie of living a life in the paradise of no work. It sounds like hell. Even within the Garden of Eden did God put Adam to work! Man must have meaning in his life. He can find that through his work. The higher the quality and his performance, the higher his bank account.
This should be celebrated by allowing him the fruits of his labor. You simply cannot take what belongs to the man who has earned, transfer his wealth to the man who has not earned while expecting the same results of the honest earner. How could you subsidize irresponsibility by punishing the responsible? This is not only killing work ethics on both parts and society, but it is insulting to a person’s self-worth.
Allow and encourage greatness.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. Freedom of Speech
Freedom of expression. Religious freedoms. Freedom of thought. Freedom to own property- that includes weapons.
How can we grow as productive human beings when our minds aren’t allowed to think? Is it no wonder why the West won World War 2?
It wasn’t because Americans are brilliant and Germans are slow to pick up in science to create the A-bomb. It is because our economy is free and allows innovation to take place- without approval from a dictatorship. (Although FDR had many dictatorship traits and policies- still less than the enemy.) The speed to build up with the best quality only happened because America has the freedom to do so.
Hitler at one point didn’t even want to discuss the possibility of A-bomb because “it was a Jewish weapon.” This primitive socialist racism actually hurt him in the war. While in a free market system- there is no time for such rubbish. If you can produce, America needs you.
In order for this idea called ‘free market’ to be fully exercised to its potential, freedom of speech must be encouraged. Before an exchange of goods can happen, an exchange of ideas must occur.
In a socialist society, these ideas can interrupt those in power. It can even be twisted into ‘treason.’ Therefore, any progress in medicine, technology and business is slow to none.
Would the world be better off with more single people or married people? Orphans or children with married parents? “Finding yourself” for many decades or committing yourself to one person and building?
Family is something that puts requirements, restrains you from acting improperly and making terrible, hurtful decisions. All without government intervention.
The family prepares you for business if you think about it: your parents are the boss with authority, love, and respect. Your siblings are co-workers. Your grandparents sit on the Board of Directors or better yet, the Worker’s Union due to always siding with you. (But
Children without a family, grow into broken adults. This is why the state needs to rid of the family in order to rescue the broken masses.
If people come from strong homes, with mother and father married- this can threaten the state’s power. The control of centralized power within the state rests on problems. If the citizens are making terrible choices (all stemming from their childhood) then the state needs to gain control. Since there is no such thing as an individual in a socialist state, (only a community), the community will all suffer the iron fist and submit to daddy government to reestablish order.
Remember: although the goal is a pretend utopia, there still must be an order of conduct to obtain it. The state is more than willing to step in. If the citizens give up their rights peacefully, even better. To help expedite this “compassion” children belong to the state.
Truth is be told: it takes parents, not a village, to raise a child.
4. I don’t like being told what to do
Similar to freedom of thought, I don’t like being told what to do or what to think. Socialism requires you to sacrifice everything for “the greater good.” Your wealth, heart, mind, and soul.
There is no greater good! Well, if you believe man is born good and just got evil along the way, then yes. You might want to help him achieve his original state. This is why socialism constantly needs to “renew” and “refresh.” It needs a revolution every 50-70 years. It needs obedience to create this “New Soviet Man.”
While I respect my God, parents, spouse, army and country- I will not be told to bow. There are many ways throughout history to bow down against your freewill. Some is through actual bowing. Others are in form of taxation and supporting ideas you oppose.
This goes against the Bill of Rights. The American.
Living as a puppet is no life. Living within unnecessary limits for the sake of “security” is not life. Life is brief. Life should be of worth and meaningful. Life is already hard, but much harder when you’re denied the right to actually live.
There are many reasons why I’m a conservative: religion, patriotism, responsibility, profit, family, and freedom. Overall, I need to work. My work is at home.
Understand the best rewards in life are the ones that are met with the most struggle to obtain it. Accomplishment is best only when greeted with a challenge.
Please, don’t hand anything to me. Don’t take away my ability to think and earn. I’m a conservative and want to experience life.
We are constantly reminded how much the God of The Bible loves men. Just not love, but favors and prefers men.
While this might be true in a communist society, it isn’t true with God.
Yes. Men are stronger. Men’s performance in both good and evil is highly extreme. Men’s recovery time is a lot faster than a woman’s recovery time. Let’s face it: if men are invited to join women sports, there will be no women sports.
Men who decide to do good, excel to great heights. When men are not tamed, they have capabilities and desires to destroy cities. Women uncivilized? Perhaps beeping through scanners at a local Walmart with stolen goods in her purse.
Yes. The Bible mentions men more. God has a (higher? Well, not quite.) different and yes- harder expectations for men. Even if we remove the religious aspects, (which seems to confirm the others) and focus on other aspects: women’s biology, the record of direct contribution to building, warfare, intellect, emotions, and rationality- explains in plain sight there are major differences between the sexes. Giving, what may appear, men the upper hand.
These truths may be hurtful to many insecure women. If you season this feeling of victimhood with a woman who hasn’t experienced love from a man, you have a broken woman.
One of the many reasons why the Lord is great is because He isn’t of this world. He isn’t a false god. He is the true God with radical ideas, foreign to our limited thinking. A God who is just? Forgiving with a sense of humor? A God who isn’t envious of man? A God who loves His creation?
A God who declares man is His favorite creation?
A God who would die in order to remarry His creation?
He loves man
The Lord created man before woman. The proof is there: the Lord didn’t think it is necessary to have women!
But quite the contrary.
According to the order of Creation, the Lord created many things before man. Does this hold true for light? For vegetable? For animal? No! We all know
Clearly, the Lord made the most complex and saved the best for last! Man finds his purpose in serving one woman. He needs a love from a woman. First his mother. Then wife and daughter. A woman holds a special place in a man’s heart.
Being the Lord loves man, He loves the woman who motivates him. That gives him worth. The one thing that separates man from his savage species is his family.
A woman civilizes a man via marriage. You see, God created a world intended for women and men to help each other. When we simply obey His word (which is difficult but possible) it makes life more pleasurable and a lot easier.
Of course, God smiles on this and blesses women. If women are blessed with good men, men and children will be forever happy. Which will radiate into the country…
Countries who mistreat women and children are poor
Take a look around the world. Do you know which countries are wealthy? Are headed towards prosperity?
Part of what made America great is its record for being the first country to value women. Mixed that with the religion and English language: Boom! You have a wealthy country with automobiles!
It was the West that came up with this tradition: women and children first. It’s no wonder the West has the best living status in the history of the world. Even if it is fading away, the truth is there. The truth is proven through time. Time shows that when men are responsible with supporting women by their side, life becomes much better for both parties.
Countries who mistreat their women and children are poor. While the men party, hold no responsibility for their actions and die young– it brings great agony to his legacy, parents
Clearly, God doesn’t have patience for this behavior. The proof is in the suffering.
God hears prayer
Negative behavior is given. No one has to teach you how to get fat, it comes naturally. But to build muscle? Strict eating habits and training- there is so much data and knowledge to be learned.
Therefore, men behaved naturally sexually inappropriate. God heard the cries of the women. In the Bible, the Lord lays down the law on how men should conduct themselves with their bodies. Who he can sleep with. What his seed is designed to do.
There was a great uproar from men: does the Lord punish us? What with all these restrictions, we will no longer have a sex life!
The idea of marrying one woman. To love, protect and provide for her was a radical idea. (Today, it is still seen radical.) However, time showed it works.
Marriage is easily seen to benefit the woman almost immediately. But for a man? It takes time. Years even! (Similar to childhood with sons and daughters!)
He begins to notice that living as single man by a certain age is no good for him. The best investment he made was marrying a good woman who gave him children. He has wealth only if he has a backing. His backing is his wife and children.
Once a desire to be forever young and foolish is no longer attractive. The lifestyle brings you into dark, lonely times while feeling meaningless.
Single men with no children are much poorer than a married man with children. In fact, a single man with no children is
After Christianity became the main religion in Europe, the Church also heard the cries from the widows, wives, and daughters. Their men were not around. When men were encouraged to seek marriage, stay married and be a father- parts of Europe lighten up.
The status of a man went high because of his commitment to his family.
Men finally received the need and love of a woman that they so badly needed. Women received the wanting and security of a man that they so badly needed. After this marriage agreement, wealth was just around the corner.
Let my people go, for they may go worship the Lord
Recently, I read in the book of Exodus about Moses going to Pharaoh requesting him to set his people free.
Two new ideas were conceive as I read this story for the 1,000th time:
When you pray to God, tell Him why.
When Moses goes to Pharaoh in the book of Exodus, he delivers the message of the Lord:
“Let my people go, so that they may worship me.”Exodus 10:3
Often we hear a preacher misquote Moses. They don’t follow up with the rest of the request; “so that they may worship me.”
When you are in prayer, tell God why you are requesting something. Do it over and over again. Let it be meaningful.
The second light bulb that went on while reading this story, is this:
God wanted the women and children.
Did you know Pharaoh already have permitted Moses to take his people and go worship? The men that
Pharaoh said, “the Lord be with you– if I let you go, along with your women and children! Clearly you are bent on evil. No! Have only the men go and worship the Lord,”Exodus 10:10
The immediate follow up was the plague in Egypt.
It is natural to give men only these rights. You see it today throughout Asia and the Middle East. But God is supernatural. He wanted all: the men, women, children, animals and their belongings.
He leaves no one behind.
After I discovered this, I went for a drive. Thinking about how good God is. He is a God who is just and loves His creation. The lies of the world can be seductive. They often are accepted because it makes excuses to be lazy so much better.
The common lie of a communist is: There is no God! And if there were, he doesn’t love women! Look at the treatment from men. Look at your bodies and brain size. Clearly, you’re weak! Embrace the new being: a godless world citizen who rejects the individual and works for the community. There is your purpose!
How depressing! My heart breaks for those who purchased this lie and spent their life in this manner.
For men, the message is similar with a twist: they tell young men that women who seek marriage are gold diggers! Lazy! Stupid! A real man sleeps around with no strings attached. A real man doesn’t support his country. A real man doesn’t enlist in the army to fight bankers wars! A real man finds power through crime, bonds through with a brotherhood of thugs and takes what was
If only the message was this blunt. But if you really listen carefully to the public speaker- he admits this.
Well, I got great news for you: God does love you and He wants you to earn your living. You have great expectations. Disregard the lies of the world that is naturally pulling in a negative direction. Fight against it towards the light.
Of course He has called you out.
You keep coming back to Him.
Yes, I have discovered the answer to one of life’s greatest secret treasures: how to get your husband to do what you want.
Hold the applause until the end.
Reading up on Men’s magazines, their books and eavesdropping in on their podcast- I learned a bit more about our furry partners called men. Apparently, the fur is designed to protect men from facing nature’s danger… and it’s also used as a defensive mechanism against other creatures- including women!
But it wasn’t until many years of marriage and having a son did I finally get to tap in (from a far distance because I still lack understanding of the male species) on the man’s brain.
Is there a way to get across to our husbands, peacefully while achieving a win/win outcome?
Oh, you better believe it!
No more nagging.
No more complaining.
No more explaining.
No more silent treatment.
No more “constructive criticism.” – (They really dislike this one. More on this later.)
Note to men: Please let me know if I’m correct, almost or not even close.
Time to sit back and enjoy marriage like it’s designed for.
It’s clear we love our husbands. However, society insists people are “born this way.” As some fool once said, “If you love someone, you wouldn’t change them.”
Give me a break.
Life is about change and growth. We aren’t animals in a vicious cycle, are we? No. We have a purpose. A constant yearning to strive. A challenge. A goal with structure and deadlines. Accomplishment in the face of struggle makes us alive.
Therefore, of course, we want our husband to grow. We want him with more money. More time with us and the children. More help around the house. More in touch with God. (And with more muscle…) When we bring this up, it comes off to him as “complaints and nagging” to his ears.
Bottom line he isn’t listening via talk or email. You’re not getting through to him.
Next, you seriously sit down and have a conversation with him. You politely explain to him that you love him. This is only constructive criticism which is intended to help both of us- our marriage, you rationalize.
Yikes. That did it.
Translation to a man’s brain: I’m not man enough?! Nothing is ever good for you. You’re comparing me to other men. I lack ambition? I work my butt off for this family!
Well. May I suggest another route? Honestly.
What else do you have to lose?
These 4 methods have been proven in my personal life. I’ve also seen it done within marriages of over 15+ years. Each method goes accordingly to different circumstances. Be wise about your approach. Be honest as well. The arguments will lessen. The stress is less. Both parties will get what they want- and yes. The love and romance will skyrocket.
Absence makes the heart fonder
Time apart does wonders. Ask any corporate and/or military wife. Being apart from one another makes us want each other more. Including doing acts for the other spouse. Promises you now make while apart, to which you do intend to keep because that is how much you miss each other! You’ll be amazed at the level of flirtation, text messages and romance received through distance. Once united: it will feel so good!
Always see each other? Well, buzz off somewhere for a few hours! Tell him to visit his parents. Or encourage him to get a testosterone boost by hanging out with his buddies. (Men need male bonding more than women need “girl time.” More on that within a different post.) Go out shopping without him but take his credit card. (You see, he is still there.. via MasterCard.) Just take some time apart where you can actually recharge and miss each other.
Sometimes words don’t need to be spoken. A look of seduction. Or a look in need will get the job done.
Don’t be confused with the silent treatment, which can go on for days and turn ugly. This eye contact is a one time use, and use it for a brief interaction.
Suppose he is being difficult. Just stop the conversation by looking at him. Smile halfway. Then let him proceed. The moment of silence (with a Mona Lisa smile) will make him rethink his position. This one works extremely well for me, personally and requires little from my end.
How are you dressed?
This is my favorite because I’m a master at this.
Men are visual creatures. Although men don’t care if you are wearing a $2,000 dress or a $20 dress- they want you to look good. (This grooming helps our mood if we do. This is also a win/win.) Yes, your husband “loves you for who you are.” Also, I’m aware you “love your husband through hard times.” But why place yourself there when it’s unnecessary?
Men: don’t assume your wife will be tolerant for long if you’re unemployed for too long. Women: don’t expect your husband to still lust after you when you haven’t waxed your eyebrows in 2 years and he only sees you in a grandmother’s nightgown.
Men want their women so attractive, they will even provide the funding. Give it a try.
Next time he comes home, make sure you’re wearing a dress with heels and have your hair done. Bonus if you have food ready for him.
His mood will be lifted. Make this a lifestyle because doing it once- it gets pretty suspicious and may come across artificial. Men love a natural feminine woman. They strongly dislike a woman they have to compete with. Be his companion. His helper. He is already fighting against the world. He already loves you. (A man doesn’t marry for security, wealth or status purposes. They do so for love.) This type of effort from your part will urge him to move mountains for you.
You wouldn’t believe what I got my husband to do just by dressing up in a red dress, red lipstick, heels and having his dinner ready for him before he came home.
The man suddenly became a highly skilled carpenter. (Among other things!) Besides. I do enjoy how my legs look in this outfit…
Now. For The Secret Weapon: OTHER MEN!
Here it is. Try using “logic” to get your husband to make a move. Try crying. Try sex even. It won’t work!
Do you know men turn off a woman’s speech just after the first 6 minutes? That’s why you’re repeating yourself and reassuring he is listening. (He is not.) But men can honestly hear another man speak (with the same message!) for hours! Outrageous, I’ll say.
If you want your husband, for example, to exercise more- he has to hear the message from his friends. There is no other choice. This is the secret weapon right here: It has to come from other men he respects.
The idea also has to come from him when you both sit down and talk about it. Men have a strong desire to be needed. Their brains. Their muscle. Their love must be needed. They want to be able to provide and protect. They need to deliver results. They have a deep longing to be needed.., especially by a woman! ONE woman.
While women, (who don’t want that burden of being needed) desire to be wanted. You do want your husband to want you? To cater to you? To know what you want? Well then. Allow him to figure things out. To take charge. Let him know you need him.
If your husband discusses growth with another man, he will come home to you excited like a young boy who just received a Ninja Turtle toy: “Honey, guess what? A great idea!” (An idea that you secretly wanted him to jump on for a while.)
Think back to any bright ideas you may have had. Sure, he might have agreed to do them. Only to deliver with a sloppy job with a half heart in it- hoping it will fail. He is eager to say to you: You see. I told you so!
But if it came from him, he cannot retreat to this conduct. He must follow through. It is best sealed when it came from speaking or even watching other men.
After the task is complete, he will be a new man. A better one. A stronger one. He will also know he couldn’t have accomplished it without you.
Therefore, both parties will get what their hearts truly desires. However, in order to do this- one must use their head.
Now go ahead and have your husband build that bookcase you’ve been wanting him to do.
Don’t forget to put on lipstick!
The 5 type of Americans towards President Trump:
Useful idiots: I always knew people, in general, are followers. Have a strong desire to be accepted and liked. Most people read the headlines and not the article itself. They heard of past events but don’t know history itself. Listen to the D.J. on the radio rather than hearing directly from the person the D.J. is falsely speaking about. In life, people want to generally inhert rewards without the struggle. Body without diet. Wedding but neglect the marriage contract. In short, most people are lazy, uninformed and want to be liked. These types are the easiest to trick. If the trend is patriotism, they will follow. If the trend is fascism, they will march.
Self-proclaimed intellectuals: Behind the scenes stirring the pot, you have the group who viciously hates President Trump’s ideas, what he represents and the type of people he represents. It could’ve been any outspoken freedom lover, these snobbish cowards will always hate and provide the funding for the hate.
The Base: These Americans are the core of highbrow hate. The B
Hate and love relationship: Hello Ben Shapiro. Glenn Beck. And others who made an incorrect assessment of the Billionaire due to his language rather than what he actually accomplished in life. These Americans rather someone with a much cleaner lifestyle. Both professionally and in private. While that is an honorable standard, it’s also disconnected with our times. After having Obama in the W.H.- we as Americans desired someone who is not only politically incorrect but not even polite and very patriotic above all. Although they misread their prophecy of Trump, these individuals came around and eventually supported the President. (Throw Ann Coulter in there as well. Hopefully, after Ann gets a man, she’ll become rational again.)
RINO’s on Donkeys: But how about the informed, considered “patriots” who never have and never will, support Trump? This group is very interesting. They are my main focus within this post.
The Bush family spent their entire lives fighting against liberal policies. This family loves America. Some might argue they made poor choices, benefited personally at the cost of the American and were involved in really corrupt dealings that were dangerous to our mere existence as a Republic.
For the sake of time, let’s just play devil’s advocate and call them “patriots.” This is said with a lower case “p” – since it was the Patriots, not social justice warriors, who put them into office.
Before Barbara Bush passed away, she written a letter to each member in her family asking them not to vote for Donald Trump. This would be the first time the Bush family didn’t support a Republican nominee. Why?
Why would you tell your children and grandchildren not to support the Republican nominee? Instead, for them to suspend their values and vote for Crooked H? Why will you make that dangerous gamble that will not just hurt your country, but your family directly?
Were she upset over Trump bullying her baby son? As a mother who absolutely loves her baby boy, I totally get it. My judgment will be clouded with Mama Bear Rage and I wouldn’t like him either. However, after the steamed cooled down (and perhaps I personally held a grudge Forever!) wouldn’t ANYONE in my direct reach, reason with the idea: Trump is the best option?
Well. Clearly there is more reason behind a mother’s protection over her son. If the entire Bush family agreed to this, there is more behind it.
One thing I easily observe is the fact that when outsider Trump gets elected, these people will not be needed. All the RINOs (Republican In Name Only) in America will become irrelevant. Their advice won’t be taken. President Trump would (and has) made these people feel useless. The worst feeling ever.
The bullying. The feeling of not being needed. Is that all it took for you to surrender your core belief system?
The Bible teaches us about this odd behavior.
We turn to Abraham.
“And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.”Genesis 22:2 KJV
Abraham had another son already, Ishmael. Why did the Lord say and empathized- thine only son Isaac? It’s because Abraham is married to Isaac’s mother.
In Hebrew, the term only son means yachid. If translated directly, it means “darling” when referring to life itself, so valuable. Even meaning “desolate”- emphasizing the fact that people can feel utterly alone at times.
“And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son…”Genesis 22:3 KJV
Now, remember. Abraham is a wealthy man. Also very old. Why did he saddle his own donkey? Why did he labor? He had young men available to do it. Yet he chose to do it himself…..
Now we quickly turn to a wicked man named Balaam, who is also wealthy but has different desires: killing the children of Israel.
“And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.”
Numbers 22:21 KJV
Both men are wealthy, yet they both did their own labor. Each had different attitudes towards this.
What the scriptures show is: love and hate distort a man’s thinking. Strong emotion overrides rational thinking. Abraham’s love for the Lord made him obey his (difficult) order. Balaam’s hatred urged him to wake up early and get to work himself.
Having logic and reason, it makes sense to support the current president- Donald Trump. It’s in your interest! But with personal hatred? It messes with your thinking. RINOs are not the only ones who are guilty of this.
No good can come from making an important decision when emotions are high.
Activity: try to think about a time where you made an important life-changing decision based on emotions. Intentions. Your heart. Write about it. How did it turn out in the long run? What can you do to repair and avoid repeating?
Look at them.
They look so gorgeous. In love. And wealthy. As for you, you’re… well, you’re you. How could you not be slightly envious? Or more difficult, how can you be happy for someone else success when you secretly aren’t because it’s a reminder that you yourself is a failure?
You’re only a failure because you think and speak it. When a person is envious it just means they settled in life. They compromised. They didn’t keep on working (for whatever excuse one might have). In the end, they gave up and regret it.
I’ve read many books of people restarting their life and successfully moving on to accomplishment. One story I will never forget is about a 52-year-old military history writer. He loved warfare: the strategies, uniforms, discipline, rules of engagement, and weapons. Such a brilliant and passionate man, but he had one problem:
No one actually listened to him because he never served in the military. On top of that, he found himself growing intensely envious of the glory the war leaders received from the troops. The power. The action. The respect. The love from his army. ARGH!
This writer did something incredible to put in an end to this negative emotion, at the age of 55 years old he enlisted into the army. He rose through the ranks rapidly. He became a celebrated hero in his country.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
― Henry Ford
There is always a hunger for great talent and skills in the marketplace. Especially in a forgiving home as America or within a religion like Christianity. While there are truths that both the Bible and our personal experience can confirm, some life decisions we made a while ago have very long consequences. Some may range for a few weeks. Others can be a punishment that can last years or even cost us our own life. (This is why one must be both book and street smart.)
Nevertheless, we will work with what is unfairly dealt to us in life or what foolish decisions we brought to ourselves. We are here to live. To fulfill, even what might seem like a minor goal such as obtaining your driver’s license. It’s your life. The desire is still lurking because the envy, the longing is there. It’s not over unless you say it is.
Here are 4 truths on why there is no need to envy:
4. True fulfillment and joy in life doesn’t need an explanation
I see this mistake in so many people I speak with. You’ve probably heard (or have said) similar things such as:
“I’m glad I didn’t enlist in the army! Heck, I’m not fighting a bankers war! I’m no sucker! I’m completely happy they didn’t get me!” But if you further the conservation with this type, as I do, they will quickly expose their regret. I say, “But you’re a patriot bro! My goodness, the honor. The respect. The skills they teach. Travel and guns! Plus you get paid? That sounds like a sweet deal, not a scam.”
The look of guilt flushes their face, then the sad confession kicks in: “But I missed my opportunity…”
Another infamous one I hear is from childless people. “Kids? Ha! I’m extremely happy without brats! They’re expensive. They are an inconvenience! They’re annoying. I’m completely living it up.”
Then, like the dodger, I get this people as well.
“I can’t believe that. You would’ve made an excellent father! Oh man, not to mention how gorgeous your children would’ve been. Sad you’re keeping your seed to yourself, the world is missing out! Plus, they come in handy for retirement buddy! Well, I know you’re a great
The look on their face is priceless. Truth for this is, mostly this person hasn’t “found” a committed person to marry and trust. Or they are completely focused
If an indvidual is truly content with their choices in life, there is no need to randomly explain yourself. Certainly no need to put down the other people who decided to enlist in the army or have a family.
From what I hear, it gets cold when you’re older. You need your memories (like the army stories or whatever you passed up) and grandchildren to warm you.
Reconfirming to others that you didn’t need these investments, doesn’t confirm it and you’re only speaking to yourself. In fact, this unneeded explanation has the opposite effect: it shows you want it and regretting you didn’t commit to it.
People like this aren’t as thrilled with their life as they say. No need to envy the explainer AKA the complainer.
3. Fake news is also attention seeking news: grass isn’t always greener on the other side
Long before social media envy of strangers, there was a more face to face envy. Hence the saying “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” (S
When people broadcast their happy life, understand two things first:
- They are only showing the happiest moments in their life. Even if it seems to be everyday ‘happiness’, people are public performers. Read their shallow captions for further detail.
- True happiness doesn’t have time to document it live. Therefore, they aren’t enjoying the moment. Do photographers have a blast at a wedding? They are too busy working. Selfie takers are also working and ignoring what could be a fun time. Their mind is on a perfect pic, edit, upload and sit back to see the likes.
Don’t get me wrong. I will snap a photo of the Grand Canyon while I’m on a visit. Will be hesitant to share my glory on social media. But for sure, I won’t make a documentary on my trip to the Grand Canyon unless I’m working for the History Channel. I want to enjoy the time, let the memory sit while respecting my company.
If you notice there is someone who is constantly seeking online attention with their ‘amazing’ life- then simply unfollow. What a great relief it brings. If this person doesn’t offer anything but an online diary that you cannot gain from, they serve no purpose.
Many people fool themselves into saying, “I’m inspiring the world! Come join my pointless journey of finding myself (which I never do) and be inspired!”
Inspiration comes from the struggling silent. No need to envy this empty goof.
[Bringing back my celebrity couple who appear to have it all: looks, money, and love. Traveling to Switzerland while I’m stuck at work, raising kids and letting the best years of my life fly by. Or am I? Don’t read too much into it. What I have noticed with these flashy people is something radical occurs in most of their lives: when they reach to their 40s, their looks are non-human. They are divorced. Broke. And having interviews about how unhappy they were in that marriage- conflicting their wonderful fun pictures of the past.
By the time I’m in my 40s, all my children are adults. In fact, one will graduate college and I will still be in my 30s! So prepare the Eastern European skies. When my time of child raising is over, I’ll be sexy in Switzerland drinking a cup of hot chocolate with my family!]
2. You can still achieve in life at anything you set your mind to
What a controversy statement to make nowadays!
It’s because it’s true. Lies seem to be accepted as “your truth” rather than the one and only truth.
While you don’t need to follow the clueless people who go through life with drama and no purpose- you can gain inspiration from the humble earner results. How can you find these types?
If you desire to have a family, go read about those who have long marriages and successful children. What’s their “secret?” Don’t follow a “family” like the Kardashians.
If you decide more wealth, follow the quiet self-made earner. Not only will you learn more about money, but you’ll learn about character. They are eager to teach those who want to learn and practice their ways.
Focus on yourself and get to work. After you found your humble mentor for encouragement and reminders: it can be done. They did it, so can you. They are not super-human. It is available to all. I don’t care about the ‘white privilege’ lie. Many whites struggle, suffer and die a failure. Just like anyone else who made bad choices. (Telling young white straight boys, in particular, is a psychological trick to actually create a sense of supreme from doing nothing which hinders their growth while telling other groups ‘you don’t have a chance.’ Bad all around.) The only advantage is being born rich and having married parents.
So, if you don’t have this real type of advantage, get busy. Lay out a plan and with deadlines. Get organized and find ways to achieve each point. It may seem far away- but that is why it’s called an investment. Short-time easy goals (like buying an expensive burger) excitement quickly comes to a halt when you realize you need bus fare. Don’t focus
Pretty soon with your sacrifice, you will realize how fast time has gone by. Your goal will be achieved with your back against the wall fighting each step. It is earned slowly and less likely to die off quickly. Similar to earning your own money rather than being given money for no reason.
The great feeling of a smart sacrifice pays off at the end.
Life is about sacrifice.
Side note: A few years back, I created a vision poster board which I encourage you to do. On it I had cut and paste images from magazines onto this board. Images of things I wanted. Some were simple. Others were more difficult to obtain. And one needed a miracle. Here what was on the board:
A slow cooker. A ninja blender. A fancy washer and dryer- yes the ones that cost thousands of US dollars. A bodybuilder’s body. Travel around America on a road trip. A BMW. A house on the mountains like you see in a car commercial. A happy family with a husband and four children. Two girls and two boys.
The miracle (somewhat out of my control) is the family one. Would you believe I’m on track for that one? The Lord blesses me! At the time I was legally married with two daughters. My son came and I would like another son someday. The house in snowy North Dakota will be achieved if I want. All others have been fulfilled. I cried when I located this poster board recently.
- Your goals and aspirations are between you and God- through Him all things are possible
As difficult as it may be, shut off the noise. Shut off the distractions. If it doesn’t aim towards your goal should you allow any of your energy to have it? Get rid of self-doubt. The negative scene, people or
Who will stop you if the Lord is with you? When David from the Bible kept on having incredible success on the battlefield, King Saul asked: “How?”
“The Lord is with me.” He answered.
The Lord will be with you too. If you allow Him. He hasn’t abandoned you. He desires greatness from you- and expects it. There is no need to stress or be envious with what you do not have. As long as you use honest methods. Start building, remain consistent, learn, grow and focused, you will get what your heart desires.
Advice: keep it to yourself. You’re only an inspiration after you achieve. Some might suggest to let the world know of your goals because you’re most likely to follow through. Well, how has that worked out for the online braggers? Instead, share with a few loved ones who are close to you. They will be watching. Even they are skeptical and still need to see results so you will have to follow through with that personal audience watching.
I depart with these two verses:
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