Soulmates may not exist but love does

But if soulmates did exist, I could tell you where to find yours.

It doesn’t sound romantic. To say love is about giving and service rather than passion and your soul takes the fun away. Do you honestly want to know what takes the fun away? Bad decisions. False expectations. A broken heart. Being used and lied to. A possible STD. This is the reality one faces when in search of his or her soulmate. What is a soulmate? Why is our culture obsessed with this idea? The motto of Hollywood is “follow your heart”- surely that’s a great source for humans affairs?

Soulmate, defined by Webster’s dictionary is:

1: a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament

2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs ideological soul mates

The first red flag about this idea on soulmates is a tragic one. It is heavily promoted by Hollywood and pop culture. Just look at the source. The questionable songwriters and dysfunctional movie stars should get their own personal life together before encouraging others how to eloquently destroy theirs. The impression of searching for someone perfect, who checks off everything on what you deem as being your soulmate- is not only unrealistic but also takes the “fun” away.
What is required for seeking love if not passion? Briefly speaking, there is a difference between love and lust. Love is wanting to do something for someone else, especially when it doesn’t come naturally to you and it requires sacrifice on your end. Lust is wanting someone badly. “Oh, I want her. I want to take her and make love over and over.” This is a man who desires is in lust.

There should be two points when seeking out your spouse: a sexual attraction and a similar culture/worldview/understanding. This process is very exciting and shouldn’t take more than 3 dates to figure out. When I meet a person, I give that person a listen.  Within 5 minutes I know if I like this person or not. People who “date” for 5+ years, really tells me more about that individual rather than the bad luck they face in this world. This is particularly worst for women but I’ll yield for the moment.
Similar to work, you shouldn’t “follow your passion” rather follow the money and THEN you become passionate about your work. It’s no wonder that in work (like in love) you provide a service. The “honeymoon” stage, as they say, is short-lived because passion quickly leaves. It’s a false requirement in marriage. Everything in life needs rest. No one should be expected to have passion or hunger each and every day.

Why then, do people seek out the false hope of having a soulmate? Hopefully, by now you appreciate my honesty because here’s another truth bomb: People who say they’re searching for their soulmate just want an excuse to sleep with more people.
That’s it.
When I meet a young lady and she complains about not having found her true love, I say: think back to all the men you’ve dated. Was there not one man, just one, who you were both attracted to and he will provide for you? Could you have built a future with this man? Did you discontinue the relationship because there might have been someone out there better? Someone you haven’t met? Well, there is no one in your life so clearly, you still haven’t met him.” (Keep in mind, although you may be an amazing person, you do carry flaws and are complex as well. To set these unrealistic standards on someone is quite astonishing.)

So now what? I did promise to reveal to you where you could find your soulmate… if it were true.  If it serves of any interest. The person who you will grow old with. To commit to you and only you, forever. Both will go through incredible times together. To help build character and test your love. To be with you in your sick times and in health. Cry and laugh together. The person who goes from being completely magnificent to a monster. Something straight out of a fairytale.
Now, where is this place? Where is this place where my soulmate awaits? At the altar. When you get married.
That person is your soulmate.