To soulmate or helpmate? That is the question.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. – Genesis 2:18


Many people in our society today is in love with the idea of being in love. For many, people would pour a heavy amount of energy on the wedding day but not on the marriage. More recently, the public pretense of their broadcast love on social media is mildly frustrating. Trust me attention seeker: you’re not as inspirational as you think you are!

What should a young person do, then, when starting out life? Particularly, if their goals are marriage, children, and property?

When seeking love, don’t set out in search for a soulmate. Instead, gentlemen, seek a helpmate. Ladies, seek a young man who will earn his status of being a man- because of you.

The definition of a soulmate, according to WikipediaA soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust. 

Does this sound like a lifelong marriage commitment? It sounds purely pleasurable. All the time. As we know, feelings come and go. They have no business in contracts. If anyone reading this is married or has been married, can rest assure to this: marriage is no picnic!

Let’s continue with the Bible in the book of Genesis:

So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beast of the field. But for Adam, no suitable helper was found.

– Genesis 2: 20

This is great news for a woman! Humans aren’t animals. Wouldn’t there be a great satisfaction for Adam if we were? Would the Lord have to create a unique being to help compliment man? A giraffe just wasn’t cutting it. Clearly, the man wasn’t happy. He was frustrated, empty and incomplete.

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs* and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib** he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. – Genesis 2: 21-22

*ribs: or took part of the man’s side

**rib: or part

Created in His design, women are intended to be a helpmate to her husband.

One of my many skills (I’m being modest here, lol) that I have developed came forth through my marriage. Aside from the hands-on practical skills one needs to be a good wife and mother, I’ve learned an interesting craft which only could have been found from my place as a wife. The ability to translate a complex topic into a very simple, clear term for understanding.

At first, this ability came to me as a mother: I taught all my children how to read and write. I taught them religion, history, economics, science, and art. Many ranging into deep lessons with simple, clear language mixed with an increasingly strong vocabulary as my children age. The methods were all trial and error with different strategies for a different child. Until each child fully understood what I was teaching, I continued on being persistent.

Then I applied this to my husband.

Anytime I wanted him to do something I wanted, I had to be upfront. Clear and bold. Understanding he has different needs than I do, I come from this starting point when approaching him. If we have a goal, I want him victorious in it. His success is mine. This is why women should never compete against her husband. That screams insecurity and trouble for a marriage. The same pleasure a mother gets from watching her children eat, a wife should also have a great pleasure to see her husband come home from work.    

This virtue, as I learned more patience and to speak less. Listen more. Act accordingly. Speak well. Never gossip. Display godlike virtues, or at least try. Admit when I’m wrong. Forgive. Become an improvement every year as an individual. The world doesn’t revolve around me, but as a mother- I think it does at times! Honor your promise, keep your word. All this and more, I learned through marriage and parenthood.

A helpmate may not sound romantic off the back. This is why many have forgotten about the true courtship of a marriage. A helpmate becomes very handy when in times of trouble, distress or loneliness. A soulmate may have floated away to meet another soul.

The more I’ve helped my husband reach and accomplish another goal- the more I see he loves me. The more I give, the more I receive.

But what does the Bible say exactly about a young man actually becoming a man?

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. – Genesis 2: 24

Well, now we see what a real man does. He leaves his parents home, goes to his wife and makes love. He can only succeed in this if the woman is right. How can a young man tell?

Between the ages of 13-23 of a boy’s life is very crucial. Here is the decade that will set him on the path to the kind of man he will become. This is why I recommend for all young boys within this age group to keep extremely busy developing a profitable skill. Even to train within a sport or gym activity that can eventually be used in the world. When he seeks out his wife, he should never date. He should instead, be courting. A person should know within 90 days (similar to a workers union) if they met their spouse. DO NOT WASTE TIME. It is selfish, but more for the young girl. She only has a certain amount of time.  At the same time, don’t be picky. If you come across a young woman who has beauty and shows an ability to be a great wife and mother- snatch her up! Same for women: don’t overlook the working boots for a clean pair of sneakers. You want a man who can provide and protect your home.

Although this seems to be a dying civilization, I believe the few who desire a family and a home will achieve this. After all, we usually all start off in life wanting love and money. Along the way, it got disrupted and a person’s mind set may have changed to a fascist one. Nevertheless, the goal is a successful union with wealth.

When you do accomplish this, the silent worker will inspire like no other social media post can.



2 thoughts on “To soulmate or helpmate? That is the question.

Comments are closed.