Ten Things Only Americans Do

Being from a city that prides itself in diversity, I have the pleasure in meeting many people from all over the world. Coming from different cultures, countries and walks of life.

No matter how different these foreigners are, they all seem to agree: Americans are special. Unique.

And not only does America offer a different history story of it’s founding- but is also different from the rest of the world in almost every aspect. Americans may disagree in lifestyles and which direction to move the country towards. But Americans have more in common then what you think.

You might find this list to be funny- and it is intended to have humor. But it is only funny because there is truth behind it.

Here are the 10 things only Americans do:

10- They haven’t been anywhere.

More than half of Americans do not own a passport. Heck, back in my hometown of NYC, many do not even know how to operate an automobile. They are extremely content of staying put and most do not have the desire to travel. But get this: The ones that do travel believe they are an explorer of the world! All of a sudden the American becomes an expert world traveler and brags about their trip to France just to have a coffee and croissant. Seriously, I think I have $400 to travel to Europe.

Certainly is you tell a foreigner about your great escape- you will soon realize you are not as creative and exciting as you think.

9- The Northers are totally different from the Southerns.

If you walk into a New Yorker’s apartment and remove your shoes: Prepare to get sent to hell. “Do you pay rent? Why are you getting comfortable?” This will be the typical reaction of your New Yorker friend. But don’t let that get you down. They still enjoy your company because you were invited to their home after all!

As for the Southerns… if you keep your shoes on, now you are just disrespectful: “Why are you bringing mud into my home? Oh- so you think you are some type of a hot shot, huh? You better eat this pie I made you. I don’t care if we just met 2 hours ago.” This is where you get the term: Southern hospitality.

8- They appear rude, but actually are very kind and helpful.

It’s funny that I keep on picking on New York, but it is my expertise.

One day while I was headed to work on the train- I had passed out. Being 5 months pregnant and wearing a winter coat, no one knew I needed a seat and a cup of water- which would have prevented my collapse.

When I woke up, I was laying on someone’s lap. A bunch of New Yorker’s were gathered around me. A man took off my coat and discovered I was pregnant. He shouted: “She is pregnant! And no one offered her a seat?! Shame on you people!!” The train had to stop because of a sick passenger. And I was carried out by a group of kind strangers.

People stood with me until the police and EMS arrived. Someone purchased me a bottle of water and snacks.

Even a kind lady went to the hospital with me!

All I can think of was my baby, being late for work and these strangers. Why are they doing this for me?

Because. America.

7- Americans do not say “You’re welcome.”

Has an American ever held a door open for you? Did you say “Thank you, sir?”

And I am sure the response was: “Uh-huh.”

Americans do not say “You’re welcome.” The kind gesture should be enough. If you are waiting for a “You’re welcome”- then you will be wasting your time.

We aren’t comfortable giving that particular feedback. It is an unspoken reason why. We chose not to end a polite gesture with “You’re welcome” because it makes us feel like we are better than you- and we do not want to feel better than you although we are. Get it?

Nor do we Americans owe you anything, but we want you to accept our kindness.

 

6- Be cautious of the American smile.

Easy come, easy go….

A smile from an American is a deceitful one. We use it to disarm our victim.

Americans are very open to other people’s cultures and are curious to taste their exotic foods.  However, if you cross them the wrong way- be prepare to die. As the American general “Mad Dog” says: “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

That pretty much sums up an American’s motto.

5- Americans are spoiled.

An American who is considered “poor” is actually a very wealthy person if living in other parts of the world. Check these facts out:

In contrast to poor people in other parts of the world, more than half of America’s lower class own their homes. Over 70% of U.S. poor own their own car. 98% own a television and over 75% own a DVD/ entertainment system. Talk about being spoiled. But let’s keep it simple for the 3rd world country readers for they can have a basic understanding…

Americans have bread.

Americans have paper.

Americans have toilets.

And America has only been around for 2.5 centuries. Take that China!

4- Americans love freedom.

Americans not only has a preference of preferring but also has a history of freedom over the “comfort” of security.  Even those Americans who claim otherwise, who favor big government- they only speak of it but never practice it in their own private lives. Those who actually do seek the government’s handouts only do so quietly. It is embarrassing to any American.

3- Americans are complainers. 

If you are spoiled, you tend to be absentminded about the world’s troubles. Especially if you haven’t traveled to actual witness it up close or face any true danger in your personal life like the Russians or Cubans experienced. America just doesn’t have a history of the USSR.

Us Americans don’t like killing our own citizens. We kinda need each other to exist. Unlike the big state, who finds their citizens to be a burden- America needs their citizens to prosper.

2- Americans are macho.

Despite the softness from our political leaders, Americans love being prideful, leaders and macho.

We love action movies. (The movie tickets speaks for itself.) We love motorcycles and working out. We love our military, guns, power and money.

1- Americans are patriotic. 

This is one thing I pray Americans will always have.

We all know Conservative Americans are patriotic. But what about the left? They are as well. (In their own weird way.)

Even if you talk to the most liberal American, they love their state. The typical New Yorker leans left wing. However, if you dare disrespect New York- he will want war.

When those recent terrorist attacks happened in Paris, it was the liberals- not conservatives- calling for Muslim blood. They wanted war for the attack on the West. And they were very vocal about it. And it is the American left who seeks war with Russia with what seems to be because of rivalry.

Even in hip-hop songs which usually trashes their own host country, they too get patriotic. For their home state, city, sports team, college and even food.It’s almost as if they are saying: “I get to talk bad about where I came from- but you are not allowed to agree or add on.”

This reminds me of two quick stories of patriotism from left wingers showing more evidence of all Americans patriotism. One is about my husband’s grandmother who visited Italy (keep in mind she is from an Indian culture, but is an American) :

She walked into an Italian pizzeria and ordered a pie. To her surprise, there wasn’t any cheese! (According to her, the Italians just sprinkled a dash of cheese. Again- spoiled Americans.) “Where is the cheese?” The old lady asked. The pizza man grew angry:

“That is why you Americans are so fat! So hungry! More cheese?”

Note: When I told this story to my uncle, he started name calling Italians and wanted war with Italy again.

 

Lastly, my mother. Who is a lifelong Democrat. But for the first time, she voted for a Republican. She voted for Trump. Why?

Well, aside from having a crush on President Trump, my mother is also smitten with the fact that Trump is a New Yorker.

“Wow.” She told me as we watched his inauguration. “He did it. One of us. One of us made it to the White House. I am so happy for him.”